Also weird: we almost never laugh because something is funny. Something like less than 10% of the laughter in conversation with another person is that-is-funny laughter. The vast majority of the time, we use it to signal a wide variety of other things: sympathy, irritation, the fact that we’re still listening, and so…

Last weekend I was at the San Diego zoo. (Pictured below: Actual documentary footage of me at the zoo.) And I was thinking about this very topic.

The header image for this article is PERFECTION, Ashley!

It’s Friday afternoon. It’s okay if you’re high.

Words used by many abusers. 

Candy? Batteries? Broccoli? I don’t fucking care. Point is, all the white kids I grew up with who chronically shoplifted, never got tazed and never would. Does anyone really believe that Kroger backs this (security) behavior up as policy? Fuck no!

And we haven’t even gotten to that extra special bullshit about this being why there are no grocery stores in black neighborhoods. christ almighty.

And the fucking gaslighting - “look what you made me do.”

“Sweetheart.”

Jesus, you asshole. It’s just stuff. If a kid is stealing food out of a supermarket I have a feeling she is hungry. That right there (children going hungry) and the other, much bigger crimes (worthy of tazing assholes), are happening in America every second. I can’t even get started.

Look, it’s not that hard. All you need to do is lift weights six days a week, stop drinking alcohol, don’t eat anything after 7pm, don’t eat any carbs or sugar at all, in fact just don’t eat anything you like, get the personal trainer from Magic Mike, sleep nine hours a night, run three miles a day, and have a…

The deposit for bottles is literally 5 cents, it’s not that big of a deal and I’m happy to pay it if it means things get recycled at a higher rate. There probably are a few things here that are over-regulated, but most of it has been really positive changes, especially around habitat protection and pesticide…

The problem is, medicines that work in mice or monkeys don’t always work in humans. Thalidomide was shown to be safe in animal testing but when women took it, their children had horrific birth defects. And how many medicines shown to be safe in animal testing were subsequently pulled from the market? I also wonder how…

There is a lot of controversy in the pharmaceutical industry about whether or not animal testing is even beneficial, and some companies have started campaigning to require less of it (the FDA makes them do extensive animal testing) because so much of it is irrelevant.  As they say, a mouse is not a dog is not a human.

I think it’s often a matter of the attitude you adopt when dealing with such things. You’re both in a position to see their usefulness so it might be something else that bothers her but pointing to all the regulations and warnings is less embarrassing for an adult to do than come out and say they’re homesick or…

Side note, since China actually *requires* that its cosmetics be tested on animals, any makeup brand that sells products in China also tests their makeup on animals. Not sure if Aveda or UD sell their products in China, but if they do, then they test on animals and aren’t technically “cruelty free.”

FUCK YES!

Colton wasn’t even a good contestant on Bachelorette. They laid off of the villain edit for him bullying Jordan because Becca kept picking him, but that doesn’t make him any less of an ass. 

And he swears he’s straight, huh?

Ughh there are 100 former bachelor contestants who would be more interesting to watch than Colton.