Yeah, fucking Santorum beating him in 1994 was a sad, sad day in PA politics.

How brave

Well technically Lance could only plop “A” genital on a woman’s face.

Many possibilities: Manning skips the class and has a friend sign him in (some professors pass around sign-in sheets, which is of course ridiculous), or he signed somebody else’s name, or he just skipped class altogether and tried to alter the professor’s grade-book.

Extra points for the “Let Me Clear My Throat” goal song

I have a confession. I was once one of these customers.

This. Once, my GF filled up my water bottle while I was in the shower (we have opposite schedules), and even though it’s a wide-mouth Nalgene, she didn’t put any ice in it, just whatever room-tempish cold water came out of the faucet. I mentioned it to her when I got home, and now I fill up my own goddamn water bottle.

The only stylus-based app you'll ever need:

And by “charity”, he really means Kwame Brown.

Most men are cool about stuff like that. Some aren’t. We call those guys “rapists.”

Sean explained that being blessed with so many nicknames has allowed him to wake up each day and pick the one he feels most comfortable with. “Most of the time I feel like I’m Puff,” he said. “But it also depends on what kind of mood I’m in. If I’m acting crazy, like ‘agh!’, that’s Diddy. You know what I’m saying? If…

He’ll probably trade the 2016 first round suspension for a third and fourth round suspension in the 2017 draft.

Oh, Natasha, we get it. You’re still closer to Teen than Exhausted Parent. But trust me this article will come back to haunt you in some way.

Three years without a test? What do they think those swabs are, FSU football players?

Here's what Mike posted on Twitter:

Fine.

Poor kid is so terrified he's been reduced to sitting on his own stool.

The local ice cream vendors are miffed too

Keith Clinkscales? I know that guy! We masturbated on a flight to Denver. Good guy.