You know the sad thing? If Elvis was still alive, he’d probably be dead by now.

Dammit, I had Laos in the pool. So close.

I too plan eat the delicious fruit of my adult children.

You’ve made me want to hear a ragtime version of The Final Countdown.

Why isn’t everybody calling it the batawang?

to be fair, The Who had several “last tours” too -- but people *wanted* to see The Who.

My father was a cheese thief, it brought a lot of heartbreak to our family, but we always had plenty of gouda. But rarely did we have brie.

Which is pretty much the worst US paper currency denomination. None of the cachet of a Benjamin, I’d rather have four fives than a twenty since I’m rarely pulling out cash for anything bigger than that, and of course singles work in both vending machines and seedy strip clubs. I mean, a ten is still probably the most…

Party on, Girth!

TIME FOR GO TO BED

Chuck Norris’s Nun Ninja:  Nun Chuck

When people ask you if you are a god, you say YES!

Not god. Zod.

Madonna, Madonna, Madonna, Madonna? Madonna. Madonna. Madonna!

Hello Hugh.  Do you like...musicals?

Why are you standing up for Dads those mother fuckers.

No, you Guy Fieri WELL.

You know who else was passionate? Pol Pot!

More like poo-metal am I right?

That was not a 1950s comic book, no way.  A) They didn't have planned "final issues" back then, books were just cancelled for low sales.  B) They didn't have double-spread splash pages.