Hit it singing "America Fuck Yeah" from Team America World Police

No, see there is NO WAY I could hit it after this; not even if his dick had a second dick that had a tongue. It would just encourage this sort of grill-wearing, duck-face making, pot-head drawing behavior. You owe it to womankind to keep you clit in your pants. It would be like having sex with Tucker Max.

In 2008 my happily married awe-shucks-I-live-in-a-town-called-"Farmington"-now momma said she'd paper bag Phelps. I don't wanna know what she'd do to Lochte...

I would hit it FOR AMERICA.

Would you have him keep the grill in?

A lot of people? I dunno, I mean - I can see where you're getting it, but I meant it, and I think it was mostly read (from other people's comments) as a nod to kink. Active consent does not always require the ability to speak, but instead the ability to communicate, which is not always done verbally.

I need to find a way to incorporate "hit it like the wrath of God" into a sentence today. Also, all these are totally making my day. That is all.

Also, did anyone else catch the commercial in which he says, "I'm Ryan Lochte, and I'm here to finish first"? I saw it the first day and haven't seen it since, but goddamn, it made me laugh. I just imagined him saying that to one of his one-night stands.

Just go with it. He's not smart enough to know how to not act like a tool. It's okay, baby, I have enough brains for the both of us.

He's such a do-kill. But good lord, I still would.

I snorted at my desk.

Isn't this why ball gags were invented?

Would that make a person a "Jaunty Strut Slut" then?

thank you for this.

You mean smissionary? (thats missionary + a pillow)

The jaunty strut of shame.

he's like a smokin' hot Forrest Gump. I feel sorry for that dog.