I never comment, but now is my moment to shine, or whatever. Had I been born a boy, I would have been named Joe Jr. after my dad. My dad's name isn't Joe but it is Jose, and he's already a junior. He also has a son from a previous relationship whose name is Joe Jr. For girl names my mom went back and forth, one of the…

But how cool would it have been to be a redhead named Mallory??

My father desperately wanted to give my youngest brother the middle name "Tiberius," after James T. Kirk. My mother absolutely vetoed Tiberius, but agreed to names with the initials NCC. Which, as all good Trekkies will know, is the call sign of the starship Enterprise.

Wait, some of these are "whew thank God" misses (Jessica girl I feel you on that almost-an-old-Jewish-biddy-name, we had several Idas and a Gittel on my family branches), but let's talk about who Lane Victoria Davies would have been for a second.

I was almost Adelaide - my dad loved it, but the great aunt I'm named for died two weeks before I was born so the plan changed. It wasn't until a few years ago that I realised my parent's 10th anniversary holiday to Australia was roughly 9 months before I was born.

Had I been a girl, I'd hve been Lauren. Luckily, I was a boy and named after my grandpa, Jack who died a month after my Irish twin sister Jill was born.

"No biggie for me; it would have been 84 interminable seconds of chugging Draino and 'please kill me now' that I'd never get back,"

Oh really? Well then she made a good choice by not wasting both her time and yours. Seeing you just admitted you would have been an ungrateful little shit.

Sheen is lashing out like an…

Guest list at Kimye's wedding or the cast members for the next five seasons of Celebrity Apprentice?

I love dragging out the Duck Dynasty before photos:

That would be a great post.. nudge nudge :)

100. 1995 Rust Cohle

Seriously? What kind of "Men We Love" list doesn't have Kanye? No way!

"It's Neanderthalish, ridiculous confines of this patriarchal view of what the relationship is between the genders and it's incredibly [b][u]imprisoning[/u][/b] for men."

We're not "determined to feminize men" ... we just tend to prefer men who exhibit their full range of humanity rather than live their lives in the confines of some arbitrary and suffocating gender box is all.

Did you just unironically use the words "Alpha" and "Beta" to describe men?

So... You're trolling by quoting a guy who pontificates about manly men vs. feminized men who isn't manly enough to write under his real name? All while making sweeping (and inaccurate) generalizations about both genders. I think trolling is a loathsome outlet for sociopaths who lack the gumption to just be themselves…

LOLOLOLOL OK. Just keep going on and ignoring the fact that upholding bullshit standards for men does the entire male gender a disservice. Yup, just keep brushing aside the fact that a highly respected male journalist laid out exactly why men should receive and take paid parental leave. Whatever helps you sleep (and…

Get ready because the next part is going to be my favorite. Said dipshits are going to double-down on their dipshit statements and it's gonna be hilarious.