Those wheels are outstanding.

I'm wearing a dress (as a man) solely because it has the same buffs as a suit, but I can at least have arm leathers with it

“Not everyone.”

Why are we taking out 2 teams? Take out 2 teams from almost all conference, and they all suck. “The Big 12 went 0-5!”

No, no, no, Rutgers, no, the B1G is TOTALLY not using you for your TV market. Fans in Ann Arbor and Madison REALLY want to see you play! They’ve circled “Rutgers Week” on the calendar and everything!

As a Rutgers alum I read through this article waiting to see some accurate slams of my schools’ football team only to find the largest slam of all- they weren’t even mentioned

Dooooooood! I am from Columbus and went to OU, and I too spent about 4 (admittedly fun) years in SE Michigan after college, and while I’ve been in Colorado for about 11 years now, my fiancee is from there coincidentally, and says doorwall.... fucking drives me nuts. I seriously got into an argument with her and her…

Good. Let’s start this. I grew up in the lower peninsula then spent four years in the upper. I can honestly say that every stereotype about racist, hillbilly, backwards, inbred, uneducated, shit-kicking imbeciles applies to yoopers. The upper peninsula is a stretch of trees broken by a two lane highway interspersed…

The paint’s chipped.

If I end up buying one its getting a 2JZ-GTE swap and period correct(ish) mods... except for the fart cannon. I’m basically a 35 year old child so I like annoying people with my fart cannon.

Aside from the fact that this thing is PIG SLOW, it also likes to eat camshafts. DO NOT WANT, and no amount of tacked-on GTI bits is going to change that. I HATE TDi VW’s with the fire of a thousand suns, and wish a fiery death brought on by spun camshaft bearings, detonated fuel pump shards in the fuel rail, blown…

If you prefer your absurd street racing short films to go in a straight line with an easter European accent I recommend this gem.

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.

One time in LA, I watched a dude order a double meat Seafood Sensation / Cheesesteak hybrid. He sheepishly looked at me and said “Surf and Turf”. Haven’t had Subway since.

I feel very comfortable asking women out and going on dates. You know what's frightening? When all your guy friends get married and start having kids and all of a sudden, you don't have any bros to hang out with. Then you got to search for a new bro to date. I'm 33, about to turn 34. Most of my best friends I've had…

And shitty Detroit jokes in 3... 2... 1...

It's not nearly as bad as you think. There are depressing pockets, but also plenty of nice houses in non-third world areas. Detroit has come a long way since it hit bottom (don't live there but visit frequently for work).

Oh yeah. Electric issues. The VW charm, I have usually lucked out of. Crappy windows, terrible automatic transmissions; I loathe the tiptronic transmission; random sensor death, all things anyone around VWs long enough will just laugh at. They aren't perfect, but when they are, they are great. I really haven't gotten…

You forgot to mention Paul Allen's best move, being a dick and blocking the view from Nancy Walton's superyacht in Sydney on New Years Eve.

INTJ. That's why almost everyone I meet is an asshole.