All I want for Christmas is a Dallas Cowboys pre-anthem-kneeling kneepad with BETTERNESS TOGETHER inscribed on the front.

Little side note: Movie theaters started to be a thing about a century after the US constitution was written. I think the whole professional team sport thing might also be difficult to comprehend for a founding father.

“So we were drinking one night....” or “You know the signs at the zoo that say don’t feed the animals?”

I’ve got a lot of useless junk in my head, and always thought if I had the time, I’d go on Jeopardy. What held me back was two fears:

Trump is going to invite his best pal*, Andy Jackson, to go see “Birth of A Nation”. Freddy Douglass gonna be pissssssssssed!

/Creedence comes on the radio

Screw you, Redford! I will continue to use Pat Tillman as I patriotically rock out to Springsteen’s “Born in the USA!”

I’d tap water.

one man who spent $45 on bottled water at the game.

Cool story, people from Austin are soo badass!

Oh, god, the upper 80s? How did people ever survive those surface-of-the-sun-like temperatures?

Pretty sure it was Cornbread doing the hammering.

People in Boston can’t hate David Price anymore that we already do so I think he should.

In Miller’s defence, he had a traumatic game; he had severed the top of his thumb, before being able to quickly reattach it.

I would hate to be the conductor trying to take tickets on that train.

This has to be the most inane comment...

Also has anyone thought about a basketball game with two balls? That would be crazy. You would need to coordinate to make sure the balls don’t hit each other. Probably would have some people playing almost all defense and the tricks you could play on who takes out the ball would be great. Or it would just be a huge…

Hey, don’t take this the wrong way, but I think your coverage might be a little biased.

Modern cars have too much tech for their own good.

It reminds me quite a bit of It’s Always Sunny; for a while I lived with a small handful of dudes who wanted to be The Gang, picking analogues in the show for who they felt best represented them, and emulating the various drinking games and habits they exhibited. It entirely baffles me that anyone would watch that…