This was oddly soothing, thank you

Grown man calling wife “mother” will never stop being creepy AF.

the first thing i do every morning is check the obits for america, oysy.

Just because she didn’t marry for love and didn’t plan on becoming FLOTUS doesn’t make her sympathetic in my book. She knew what she was doing, saw the gold house, the vulgar manners and god knows what else and said, yeah, I’ll sign up for that. No one made her repeat birther claims ad infinitum, sue penniless…

Actually, they learned it from Florida.

“Also! Did you guys know Abraham Lincoln was a Republican? Not a lot of people know that. We should talk more about that!”

Why on earth would she do that? I’m sure she’s flying back to NYC as we speak. Barron needs her, doncha know.

I thought there was a federal hiring freeze?

When is the end of the word??

Guess what Ivanka: if you do indeed become a government employee you comply with federal laws and regulations because THAT is the law.

Can I be an unofficial official advisor to Trump? I swear I won’t use it to funnel intel back to Blighty to allow us to once again take control of the Thirteen Colonies.

Please let Scotland vote correctly this time. I...I still can’t believe Brexit is really going to happen. I was hoping for a last minute save. That someone would remember it was a non-binding advisory vote and come to their senses. This really is a dark timeline, isn’t it?

He’s a big fan of the “more and more” phrasing, as if this excuses him from having to grasp the historical, social, or political nuances of anything. “Trump’s administration is a dangerous, reckless ogliarchy. We see that more and more.” Oh neat! I can do it too!

“So as a man, I stand before you as president, but if I weren’t president, I wouldn’t be happy to hear that statement. That would be a very scary statement to me because there’s no way we can compete with you. So I would not be happy. I just wouldn’t be happy.”

Put up or shut up, windbag. Put a woman in your cabinet that doesn’t answer to Mother or current wife of billionaire so-and-so. If you say you support strong women then hire a few. Token Omarosa doesn’t fucking count.

As a former teacher, I can pretty much guarantee his elementary school book reports went kind of like this: “This was a great book. I really liked it. Lots of really interesting things happened in it. It also had good characters. I really liked the parts with the descriptions, and the language the author used.”

I don’t know...she may be a victim of her husband’s madness, too. She doesn’t really seem to like him.

Karen... Pence...?

I despise Melanoma with every fiber of my being and is matched only by my repulsion for her husband. For anyone who wants to give her a pass, she is no victim, she has 100% agency, is smarter than her husband, and every bit as selfish, petty and vindictive.

The Department of Energy has reportedly banned the use of the phrases “climate change,” “emissions reduction,” and “Paris agreement,” which is... insane! Help!