Of course then comes the chorus of people saying how lucky the kids are and how they wish their hot female bishop had molested them after church.

Other things I freely swap pronouns for on the regs:

If you think about it, any story about food is the beginning of a poop story.

idk, I think most hobbits would like a nice burger for their second lunches. Maybe sliders tho.

hobbits arent big enough to eat hamburgers.

but this isn’t the same thing as toxoplasmosis

The slightly lamer origin story for Daredevil.

I’m a florist, too! And there are so many reasons why flowers are a great gift for someone who enjoys them: they are never the wrong size, they don't collect dust, they don't have to be stored, they are relatively sustainable and have been clinically proven to reduce stress.

Ares demands sacrifice.

Yes, after that I tortured her with kisses, snacks, belly rubs & fang-brushing for 16 years until she finally gave in. Goddamn Dog.

That was my thought, too, this seems like a really lovely thing to do- not giving a speech at Harvard or Stanford but focusing on kids who might not get much encouragement on a regular basis, much less from Kanye West.

Braids

Yaaaaaaaassss. I’m so here for this new crop of teen and YA black celebs getting all up in their afro-futurist feels and daring to be weird in public. There’s room for that and I am SO EXCITED to see what kind of work they’ll be putting out into the world as they get older.

“Did you know that Taylor Swift hands out light-up bracelets that synchronize to her music at all of her concerts?”

Exactly! I can still remember when I was about 5 or 6 and my mom came in to wake me up for school and I had my first “early morning boner”. Confused, I stood up on my bed and said “Mommy? My peepee is hard!” And then I slapped it to provide evidence.

My sweet 5-year-old likes to run around naked wearing only a belt, which she ties so that it has a long piece dangling out in front, a piece which she calls her fake penis.

Gives new meaning to “I’ll have two fingers”

LOL. Thanks for the Boner Report.

Was it up in her snizz? Does each bottle get some sort of Maker’s Mark vaginal secretion style dripping on its cap?

So this is just the liquid version of buying used panties right?