I rub a little on my face like war paint before stressful high stakes meetings. Works like a charm.

Update: Kelly is dead. RIP Kelly.

Yeah, well, joke’s on you because now Kelly’s in the Blogger ICU with Acute Fake Southernitis

Yep, she has a net worth of $200 million, TWO. HUNDRED. MILLION. That is not royalties from Honey and Dark Angel.

I thought the same thing...NO McFLURRIES NEEDED BOBBY!

HOW ABOUT “YES, BECAUSE HE IS TOTALLY MY TYPE?” WHY ARE YOU SEX-SHAMING ME, BOBBY?

Jessica Alba is absolutely killing it right now with her stuff.

Now there’s a man who’ll take his penis out on the subway.

Regarding that “God *will* judge”. Here’s a copy paste from to-know-javale post on Gawker’s post on this issue.

That’s why football only has 11 players on a team; 12 players is the tipping point.

“Reasonable Chub” is permanently added to my lexicon. “Exploratory Tug” as well. Gold.

KUMAIL THO

Artificial wombs? Pfft! Total cop out. Just implant those precious snowflake babies right in their dicks. There’s a convenient little hole already there. Then they can gestate and give birth. They need to have some skin in the game before they get veto power.

“Doctor” Oz and “Doctor” Phil could get together and make an evil little baby and that baby would not compare to the shitfest that is Keith Ablow.

“Doctor” Ablow is the worst garbage human pretending to be a doctor on this green earth, and this universe also contains a “doctor” Oz, so that’s really saying something. I’m incapable of directly wishing harm on anyone, but if he were to accidentally fall into an active volcano I wouldn’t exactly be clawing the…

I 100% agree. Men should definitely have the ability to veto abortions, and it should happen as soon as they have the ability to get pregnant.

It’s one of my biggest fantasies. It’s partly a dominance thing and partly... IDK, an aesthetic thing? I think the idea of seeing a guy in that position is really hot. I’ve done it with female partners and really enjoyed it because watching your partner feel pleasure is great. But with a guy it’s kind of a whole…

Cmon.

HARD PASS and this is from someone who gave 2 thumbs up to a rat-tailed Shia.

How much am I drinking? That he’s paying for? How long have I been without the touch of man? How desperate am I for a story to sell for minor ducats to the Press?