Free advice for Pamela Anderson: It's okay to not get married. Maybe marriage just isn't for you. Think about it, k?

The female nerd played by a model in glasses.

I think you mean, "Maybe Won".

So, he wanted his employers to pay for his promiscuous speech, even though it was against their morals? Well, now he's free to pay for it himself.

I'm also an Episcopalian. Your comment about gin and tonics was spot on. My church has cocktail parties! And we have an openly gay rector.

She stole the movie....

Here ya go!

we nearly died when our ceiling fan broke

Is it me, or is Cameron Diaz getting more awesome as time goes on?

Hahahahaha true vegans must despise her.

Wasn't this supposed to be vegan? What's with all the chicken, bass, duck bacon and shit?

I also learned the hard way not to put carbonated beverages in a blender when I tried to make a champagne smoothie. I was maybe not sober at the time.

SO in closing, you're just not great around the kitchen.

"I spent $300 on three days of groceries."

Actually I have it on good authority that the two TDS writers who worked on this segment are women. That's why it's so real.

Hit us with your faves – that's what Kinja is for!

Edinson Cavani, Uruguay.

this is sooooo freaking romantic

I believe this is Gwyneth's "Doctor":

Clearly this doctor knows something we don't. I am definitely sticking to the fish you find floating on the top of the water from now on.