I do not understand how Billy Eichner keeps getting work. Easily the worst part of a bad season of Parks and Rec.

Plus, that “hot dog” charm is a snake in a bun.

He can haunt a courthouse lavatory. Instead of Moaning Myrtle, we’ll have Screaming Scalia.

I’ll support Brock Turner the Rapist for the Olympics if it means he contracts Zika, becomes sterile, and then dies when I stab him in the face with a red hot poker.

There is a lot to unpack here.

No, you are not terrible. That whole family getting offed was like Christmas morning.

Oh man if we are doing that then you should know my safeword is pineapple

Shout out to all my fellow Jezzies who read “inexpensive Yankee candles” and thought about how you only get Yankee candles when they're on the clearance endcap at TJ Maxx.

Not sure, but I think we know who the village idiot is.