My ancestors came over from Ireland and could choose anywhere to settle. NYC was right there but my clan set up in West fucking Virginia. I’m sure I could gather a lot of genealogical information there, but I loathe the thought of even stepping foot in that state.

Exactly- it’s a short version of “This is why I’ll never be an adult” which is hilarious and relatable and shows how difficult-to-navigate our world can be. I honestly wonder how I do it a lot of the time.

“... I want to hit that person in the face with a shovel. But I don’t...”

I don’t think our parent’s generation were really that much more mature than us anyway. My parents married in 1971 but didn’t have my older brother until 1981 because my dad wasn’t sure he would ‘like’ us. Proto-millennial.

Yuuuuup. I saved my pennies and bought a house at 23. I got married at 25. I had kids at 27 and 29. Perhaps a more old school adult. But I fucking haaaate adulting. It still sucks. I have to talk to people and crap. And rent cars and worry about the door getting dinged by someone else or something. Yeah, that’s one of…

This! They can pry my self-deprecating humor from my cold, dead, childish hands.

it’s used by the person saying it to skewer themselves for being childish or lazy, not to garner praise.

Right? Most of my fellow Millenial friends are quite “normal” adults. We all work, some have kids, we pay bills/loans, we buy houses (or move into nicer, waaay less crap apartments). This is a funny response to those silly “adult” things that we begrudgingly do.

Electric corkscrew. Makes wine-adjacent adulting so much easier.

i feel like it’s also a way for people to be like “WHY DID I LEARN CALCULUS BUT NOBODY EXPLAINED INSURANCE FORMS TO ME” sort of thing. it’s nice to know that everyone else is also totally lost...

I love you too.

“Our parents lives sucked...our lives should suck, TOO! Put down that phone and stop playing games, time for you to suffer old-school style!”

This is like the opposite of an Onion article.

Thank you. I can only assume you are as well.

Right? “I am ridiculous and I know it” is the whole point.. Rather similar to “first-world problems.”

And can I just add that’s is annoying when someone starts a story about how their generation or their parents’ generation did things so much better and subsequent generations will never know what hard work really is. Also, and I know this is shocking, but a lot of people still have kids at a really young age and have…

Exactly! Last night I managed to get a cork out of a bottle of wine without breaking any of it off into the bottle, and I know most 30-somethings can manage that no problem, but I wanted to throw myself a goddamn parade, because that is not part of my usual skill set.

I wanted to hope that whoever wrote this was being tongue-in-cheek here but it really reads that they are not, and are in fact serious as hell. And if a site designed to help adults waste time can’t show humor at the idea of adults laughing at acting like adults, then it’s time to close up shop, because really wtf.

Turning 30 didn’t bother me a bit.

I for one, love being a fucking adult. It’s the best. Just the other day I had a nightmare I was back to age 12 and it was horrible.