Totally rapey. So fucking gross.

The wink combined with the quote gives off a rapey vibe to me. But perhaps I am just easily skeeved.

I’ll raise you

I said yes just because I can’t stand people who act like this, but I’m sure someone has murdered someone at a wedding before so she’s probably not the LITERAL worst.

I have it on very good authority from Strawberry Shortcake that Blueberry Muffin’s vagina* does, in fact, taste like blueberry.

I guess there’s a Pinkham’s Law for every damn story. SHE’S EIGHT.

So punishing the child for something the parent did is fair? I doubt this kid does her own school shopping.

Well, it’s nice to know Dolores Umbridge as a Mean Girl has found another school administration job.

I’m fucking sorry, I can’t fucking help myself!

I am very fucking sorry you feel that way.

We call it Costco dim sum!

You know, if I was God, that story would make me love you more. “That kid has chutzpah!”

The story is the stuff of legends and my family. When we were little, my mom and my aunt took all of us cousins to church one Sunday. We were told that if we were good in church we would be getting ice cream afterwards. This incentive proved to be much too powerful for my four-year-old cousin who quickly grew very…

I attended a Catholic wedding where the priest went on a tangent about how he regreted his vows of chastity because he was so lonely, just him and God, until he accepted that the congregation was his equivilency of a marriage partner, and boy, aren’t “Bride” and “Groom” lucky they have each other and God to love! (I…

My boyfriend and I had sex in a Mormon church in the primary room, but that isn’t the most sacrilegious I’ve gotten. My first lesbian sexual experience was in a handicapped bathroom (both able bodied), in a church, during a service.....(wait for it)..... about the sins of homosexuality!!!

Another memory from our time with the Reform Jewish congregation. Many Orthodox and Chassidic Jews don’t regard Reform Judaism as “real” Judaism. I get it - Reform doesn’t require keeping kosher, uses a lot of vernacular in services, stresses gender equality in language and ritual, etc. Nevertheless, traditionally…

I worked for a organization that hosted a yearly musical event at a local Catholic cathedral, which was supportive of the arts.

When I was 11 I was getting confirmed in a Catholic Church (my nana made me do it. I was powerless to her will) I thought that that day at 11 years old in an awkward long graduation esque robe would be the perfect day to wear high heels for the first time. Walking down the aisle was difficult but by the time I reached…

I grew up in a conservative religious family, but after college, my views diverged heavily from my parents’ (which is to say, I came out as a pansexual atheist). My older sister did not diverge. She doubled down, and even married a pastor. My family wasn’t pleased when I told them I was planning to move in with my…

My Jewish father - and not just any kind of a Jew; he was a Ka’han, the priestly class, the Jewiest of Jews - was cremated and his ashes interred in a Catholic cemetery.