They seemed to have skipped over "jackass". However, to be fair, that seems more appropriate for Jim or Michelle at this juncture.

And now I'm sad.

Um, he's a confirmed d-bag?

I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with you on the good. Cameron Diaz's outfit reminds me of my puff paint bedazzled junior high awfulness (hey man, it was the late 80s—don't judge!) and Foster's dress manages to creat the illusion of rib fat on an otherwise teeny, tiny girl. It's all bad, bad, bad.

@funnyface: If I were in Los Angeles I would be forced to nom nom those delicious cheeks. NOM!

From, for sure.

"You've ruined my joy"...oh the torments of the unfairly priviledged.

My family has been fostering and adopting retired racers for years—they are truly the best dogs. Kudos to Mass for banning the cruel sport of Dog Racing and and a "hell yes" to you for bringing the plight of these incredible animals to the pages of Jezebel.

As a former assistant, I actually respect this chick for her balls. It takes a lot of chutzpah to set limits with your boss and this sounds like a situation when it needed to be done.

Actually, as an adult, I *love* the look. Whenever I get it, and I still do get it periodically, I can't help but laugh incredulously. Laughter is the best "bitch, are you for real" response in MY arsenal.

What a bunch of a-holes, particularly that Stepford Ro-bot.

Sadly, we've been 5S'd...so no creative clutter for me. I do, however, have a model of a wind turbine on my desk (I work in renewable energy), but that's the only piece of "flair" we're allowed.

And we have a WINNER! Is there some sort of prize for the douchiest douchebag of Crap Email From a Guy?

OMG, we have a "Promise Statue" in the house. Must seek out naughty uses stat!

I've actually based all of my career choices on not having to wear pantyhose.

This looks like another case for Dontdatehimgirl.com, which, second to "Crap Email from a Dude" is the best revenge.

Ha! Mentioning Ayn Rand is one of the big three ways to send me running, screaming, and effectively ensuring that I will never, ever f*ck you. Ever.