And it’s not like they’re incapable of making a good-looking M6 four-door. They’ve clearly done it before, as seen here.

Good, it’s not ugly anymore.

But what then is surprising or unique about New York and New Jersey getting cheese pizza? And where do you get Bao Buns in West Virginia? Belgian Fries in Missouri? Naan in Wyoming? I wish there was a Webby category for trolling. This would be one of the top five contenders for 2020. 

Michigan is “bubble tea?”  you’ve gotta be shittin’ me. 

This is just more proof that Yelp is totally useless as a real-world representation of anything.

• Alabama – Nachos

Let’s film Helen Mirren dressed as Queen Elizabeth II reading this so Damon can get a screenwriting Oscar.

MacArthur Genius Award.

You mean a Noble?

I’m submitting this piece for a Pulitzer.

It needs to be at least three times bigger.

What is this? A Rolls-Royce for ants?

Shoot, Ferry Porsche gave my dad one for free at a work party. It really needs to be polished, but hey, who doesn’t like silver. (He said it was ‘the last one’.)

Well, I paid about $50k for a die-cast Tesla Model 3. On the other hand, it did come with a fully functional, full size, Model 3.

Range Rovers cost 100K and barely work. 

Try Googling “French Revolution”

Let’s do it!

Do you want guillotines? Because this is how you get guillotines.

The front end has killed off the hourglass and hawkbeak problem that have been plaguing the Japanese luxury cars.  I like it, I like it a lot.

Well, that is a great improvement from the Acura beak (pictured), but then again almost anything this side of a Ssangyong Rodius would be.