Serious.  What an amazing amount of info.  

The fact that you have detailed your methodology so thoroughly is at least as impressive as the story.

Like a fucking boss, that’s how.

She seems mentally ill to me. It doesn’t excuse her behavior but it might explain it.

A child about 8-9 once grabbed my boob. Like deliberately. You know what I did? Not call the cops. Told him it was wrong and moved on. He wasn’t trying to sexually assault me, he thought it was funny. I told him it wasn’t okay, don’t do it again. Case closed. 

.....I just can’t with these awful fucking monsters. Who the fuck accuses a kid who probably hasn’t even learned long division of sexual assault and calls the cops??? Bitch, he doesn’t even know what sex is, much less sexual assault you bleached orangutan!

ah yes the buttered crust effect 

It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. In 100 years this family will all be dead. All the employees of this Domino’s location will be dead. The delivery person will be dead. The website that hosts this very story will be dead. This incident might as well have never even happened at all.

I love everything about Little Caeser’s, except their pizza.

Little Caesar’s feed the homeless while Domino’s call the cops on customers. I’ll feel completely vindicated picking up a couple Hot ’n’ Readys on the way home tonight.

my flawed and totally not learned-in-med-school opinion is the immune system requires germs to work and protect you. If you antiseptic/sterilize everything the immune system gets lazy, and when it gets lazy then you get hit with bugs that put-you-in-bed.

But, not 30 year old perishable food, so you’re ahead. 

They are family-owned and the Snyders are fairly religious (tiny little Bible verse citations are printed on the undersides of cups and such). The Snyders gave some money to the California GOP but they don’t seem to have any particular agenda. They are pretty quiet as far as deeply religious folks go.

b/c parents suck.

“many parents often give the germ factories known as children salt and pepper shakers to play with at the table (um, guilty).”

“Unfortunately, we’re not sure what the solution is here, unless you want to travel around with anti-bacterial wipes and/or an economy size bottle of hand-sanitizer.”

ULTRA-GLIB ANSWER: Probably a decade or two. Which they balanced out by fucking a lot.

Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let My Immune System Do Its Job