Finally! An offensive move by Roy Hibbert!

Um, since when is carrying a concealed loaded pistol a 'sport' or 'hobby'?

KG would’ve won the Game of Thrones by season 2.

Those teams are all in the NCAA football playoffs. The real ones, not this thing ESPN cooked up.

Nothing will ever top the Beef O’Brady’s Bowl (may it rest in peace). Nothing.

This makes me so sad I’m going to eat 20 Whoppers Junior to drown my sorrow.

What’s the point of an alcoholic drink whose primary purpose is to get you wasted? Is this like a philosophy class or something?

When I take my family to a public sacrifice to appease the cruel god of the void, I really hate it when an acolyte of Ner’huul makes an extra flourish with his bone knife or, and gosh this is THE WORST, when the High Priest makes a big show of eating the heart of the spring virgin. It’s like, act like you’ve BEEN…

I redirected her attention to the cheerleaders and mascot.

There has to be someone affiliated with Deadspin that can pull off the mannerisms and affectations of an adolescent attendee.

Watching Cam Newton drive is really fun,

You’d expect a Wolfe would know better than to try to let things blow over.

Remember kids: Black Lives Matter is a bunch of whiners who are looking for reasons to be offended. The real oppression is a lack of Christmas iconography on your coffee cups.

Andre’s great. Up until they hired Van Gundy a friend of mine was the video coordinator for the team.

I made a mistake in the state (because Kansas City is not in Kansas) and want to let everyone know that if there’s a Dearborn in Kansas, the residents don’t deserve the criticism.

#NotAllMen - Line starts here ladies

Coach Carroll suspects it was a pre-existing condition. “Looking at the video, there’s no way just the impact alone could’ve caused this injury.”

Short answer: No.

For when the One Sports Network comes

A five-year-old Gronk would kick the shit out of that smug asshole William Turton.