I'm dead...put me in the casket and bury me.

Holy crap, I forgot all about that disaster of a commercial. Thanks for the laugh!

Champions don’t pull out.

You have a supervisor for racism in your office?

Now here’s Chris Chase’s take on Cam:

Well, we already know he’s drinking piss.

In Peyton’s defense, Papa John probably tastes better than his pizza.

Oh, come on. The kid will probably get laid after this. Then the downhill slide starts.

How do we know it wasn’t the Skechers Shape-Ups?

Considering it was part of a prostitution string and not just a random arrest, there could totally be a human trafficking angle to this.

We loved him here in Buffalo. For your viewing pleasure...

Currently my only disappointment is the camera didn’t go to Bettman both times John Scott scored.

“Let’s bring Barry in to mentor the guys. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Johnson technically is not allowed to retire. He is locked into a two year contract on my fantasy football team and you better believe I will take him to court if he refuses to play.

The guy next to him? THE GUY NEXT TO HIM?!? How dare you insult the great John Scott!

Um Golden State won

I wonder if he’s aware of the fact that there’s this powder they keep on the sidelines that helps you grip the ball when your hands get sweaty.

If the internet contains a more distressing photograph than that one, I will just have to take your word for it.

That’s not how you use Throwing Shade. And that’s not the correct usage of Stay Woke. Gawker commentators sound like Hillary Clinton but somehow less cool and trying way harder.