“This might be my last rodeo. So it sure has been a pleasure.”

It's gotta be Carly Fiorina right?

That's a fact. Norm carried his ass.

Fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face. Have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?

Man, some people get so worked up over the “unwritten rules” of poker.

Were you playing poker or blackjack? The card game you seem to be describing is most definitely blackjack.

Worse than the guy at the blackjack table who constantly calls it poker?

Because the internet is mentally 16 and feels the need to rebel against things that are popular.

“Herbstreit would be in a less charitable mood if his ESPN salary were to suddenly be replaced by free room and board and a bit of spending money.”

This reversal brought to you by the 2016 Honda Accord. With a rear-view backup camera and impressive all wheel drive you’ll be able to backtrack on having a player traded and buried in the AHL in safety and comfort.

Disappointingly, John Scott All Star jerseys still aren’t available on the NHL’s site.

Outstanding. But let’s not give credit to the NHL for doing the right thing when it’s entirely their fault that the wrong thing happened.

He’s reportedly half-thrilled to get the chance to coach Colin Kaepernick.

Or he’s trolling Jason Pierre-Paul.

Those are baseballs, idiot. And he still gets to eat them all by himself.

What is this? A school for ants?

12. Horrific motorboating accident.

You may be right. But you are definitely wearing crimson.

I made a Roethlisberger rape joke about Roethlisberger raping someone because Roethlisberger rapes people.

It’s a good thing Ditka’s father used corporal punishment. Otherwise that guy might have turned into some kind of asshole.