Biggest thing I learned from that clip is Melanie and that agent are 100% humping.

is it her special needs kid? her daughter is harder to pull out of than Iraq apparently. seems reasonable they tried to cover up Bristol sleeping around poorly as an underage teen. but yeah, abstinence only, LOL. three kids later as an unmarried mom please preach morals to me. I am all ears.

Sarah Palin *is* a special-needs child.

I was thinking “Kevin Bacon having to shit” face.

That is definitely the face of a guy who has openly wondered why there isn’t “WHITE Entertainment Television.”

Wow, that is an amazing “Clint Eastwood snarling at an empty chair” face. 

“If you throw food at a restaurant employee, you will be arrested.”

This must be Q

We’re convinced our dachshund is a Trump supporter, unfortunately. We love him, but he’s convinced everyone wants to kill him, he’s selfish, he dislikes our same-sex unionizing, resents having food taken from him but is happy to steal the food of others, benefits from free healthcare at the expense of our own. 

Go buy some Mosquito Dunks at your local hardware store. A 6-pack is about 10 bucks. Huck ‘em into that dank pool at the recommended coverage rate, repeat every 30 days.  You can toss them a good distance; they’re light.

My grandfather died like that, you insensitive bastard.

Have you not met Catholics before?  This is extremely sane and shouldn’t at all be surprising of them.

I am rooting for Heather Locklear. I know my fellow olds on here remember her being such a badass on Melrose Place. That was appointment TV.

How many times do we have to liberate the French? HOW MANY TIMES?

Thanks for telling us you’re not going to say anything.

And I’d bet good money she’s already purchased the next animal that she’ll kill the moment it becomes inconvenient.

Chances are, The Anthem is playing somewhere. The fact that you ever sit disgusts me

This fucking jabroni wasn’t even elected Governor. He got it handed to him by Nikki Haley when she went off to make sure the rest of the world knew just how embarrassing South Carolina was. I almost wish I still lived back home so I could sit my ass down through the Anthem. But I like making money so I’m in Chicago…

[in exaggerated Russian accent]: In Goodell’s NFL, troops support you!

I like the idea that our morality is shifting away from this, because even as a man, I dislike the notion that sex is predicated on overcoming a woman’s resistance. This is an actual conversation I’ve had: