An Assassin's Creed review lives in the shadows….you never see it coming and by the time you realize it's given you a C- it blends back into the crowd, invisible…

Not even the sweet release of death?

I remember the first time I read Spider-Man, my immediate thought was "Thank God, finally a comic book that won't make me horny"

this fucking rules, good job computer

Presumably some sort of arcane tax scam.

actually it is psychic powers

Wow, it's C. Thomas Howell! Thanks you for your insight, sir!

Explain your reasoning that because "Hillary people" are the ones protesting it's likely that this is all some false flag graffiti conspiracy. I'll admit I'm not an expert on vandalism but I don't think spraypainting a swingset requires coordinated grassroots effort.

I hate being on a subreddit I like and then looking at the comment history of a seemingly normal person who posts there only to find out they're some weird anime nazi MRA fuck or whatever. It's depressing.

I'll admit the definition on "crusty" is probably not exactly a universally agreed upon thing but I don't think it's meaning whatever you think it's meaning.

it turns out he's not autistic, it was actually midichlorians

If this is anyone but the Dick Van Dyke Show, you're stealing my bit!

Uh, probably not; Sean writes for Pally's show so unless this is some weird "keep your enemies close" thing I'd assume they're fine. Also why on earth do you think he'd come on if he didn't like them or the show?

Fiendish Dr. Burstein, you done fucked up now!

Yeah, no shit.

As a proud American capitalist, there is no greater offense given to God and Country than to misspeak when referring to a corporate brand. The product is called "Kool-Aid"; please get it correct, lest you be sent to a marketing based re-education camp.

I like shitty Spotify songs, though; I'm paying a flat fee for the subscription so it doesn't cost me anything and it's a unique thrill to hear a random Eastern European man with pirated copy of ProTools present me with his interpretation of "Gangsta's Paradise".

Maybe U Talking U2 To Me?

WHAT A HORRIBLE MORNING TO HAVE A CURSE

I would have liked it better if Steve Jobs had a broken arm in every scene. Nobody addresses it at all, he's just in a cast or a sling the whole time.