I was shocked when I found that out, but then I thought about how healthcare works and I realised I shouldn't have been surprised. It's disappointing to me, though, because I love California and wish there weren't these major things putting me of moving there.

I don't have any ties to Spain but I'd really like to live there, and I've thought the same thing as you – it looks like a good place to be a parent. I think I'd rather move there than move to the US.

Is maternity leave part of it? I only just learned how much maternity leave sucks in the US (which made me fancy moving there far less).

Eeeeurgh, yes.

You are wondrous and amazing.

The whole concept of having a miniature human growing inside a normal-sized human really freaks me out, even though I know it's really normal… I bet if I do it I'll be simultaneously horrifically grossed out and excited about the cool-science-experiment-y aspect of it.

Absolutely. When I've called 911 I've definitely appreciated the person on the other end being calm during a frantic situation… but I've also once been really pissed off because the person talked to me like I was a complete idiot who was wasting her time. There's such a difference.

She has such good taste.

I love Jessica so, so much.

I had to, too. I just thought "fly" meant "cool" or "stylish" so I didn't really get the problem.

It's sort of hilarious to think of people being stuck outside indefinitely, because they refuse to open their own doors!

Yeah, totally. It just looks really, really sad.

Just to be devil's-advocate-y for a sec, were they both waiting for the girl who comes running up behind them to open the door? You can see her approach in the reflection while they both stand there waiting, and then she stops for a sec and Kim looks round to see what's keeping her, and then thinks "fuck it" and opens…

I would love to read that story.

It's so distracting that I can't even finish reading it. If someone can't be bothered to write properly, I can't be bothered to read what they've written. I've had internship applicants write to me like that, and when I tell them that their email is so wretchedly unprofessional that I'm not even going to give them an…

This one doesn't amuse me anywhere near as much as the "deranged" one, because that one was a perfect storm of violent rage and impeccable grammar… whereas this one might be funny somewhere underneath all those lower-case letters and missing apostrophes but I can't tell.

Yep. It's pretty sad that I can't imagine moving back until my kids are old enough to be in school and I'M NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY READY TO BE PREGGERS YET.

Noble is a great name. I love it almost as much as a kid at my mum's school: first name, Marvellous, middle name, Victory. I don't know what the surname was, but I'm going to decide right now it was Jones. Marvellous Victory Jones.

I've lived there before. I just hadn't given maternity leave any thought.

Wow.