It's sort of hilarious to think of people being stuck outside indefinitely, because they refuse to open their own doors!

Yeah, totally. It just looks really, really sad.

Just to be devil's-advocate-y for a sec, were they both waiting for the girl who comes running up behind them to open the door? You can see her approach in the reflection while they both stand there waiting, and then she stops for a sec and Kim looks round to see what's keeping her, and then thinks "fuck it" and opens…

I would love to read that story.

It's so distracting that I can't even finish reading it. If someone can't be bothered to write properly, I can't be bothered to read what they've written. I've had internship applicants write to me like that, and when I tell them that their email is so wretchedly unprofessional that I'm not even going to give them an…

This one doesn't amuse me anywhere near as much as the "deranged" one, because that one was a perfect storm of violent rage and impeccable grammar… whereas this one might be funny somewhere underneath all those lower-case letters and missing apostrophes but I can't tell.

Yep. It's pretty sad that I can't imagine moving back until my kids are old enough to be in school and I'M NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY READY TO BE PREGGERS YET.

Noble is a great name. I love it almost as much as a kid at my mum's school: first name, Marvellous, middle name, Victory. I don't know what the surname was, but I'm going to decide right now it was Jones. Marvellous Victory Jones.

I've lived there before. I just hadn't given maternity leave any thought.

Wow.

Holy Mother of God, 16 weeks is considered a lot of maternity leave?! I've been thinking a lot about moving to the US recently, but that's really put me off.

If it comes down to good manners, what's the polite way to please guests who live in different places?

Absolutely. Friends complained that I was having a "destination wedding" because it would be expensive for them to attend… but if we'd had the wedding where those friends live, it would've been a "destination wedding" for other friends. Ridiculous.

Mine's a really common name, too, and it's almost never spelt correctly in England or the US. I tried to spell it out to help and it still ends up wrong. It's quite funny.

See also: Torpenhow Hill, which apparently means "Hillhillhill Hill", and all of these wonderfully tautological places.

I don't even think he was saying it in a "you look nice" way — I think it was more like "I enjoy this piece of abstract art" or something. (But he does also do the thing of saying "You are so pretty without make up!" when I'm actually wearing make up and he just can't tell.)

It never occurred to me that any blokes paid attention to the sort of make up I wear until one day I was wearing liquid eyeliner with flicks out either side and my husband said, "Ooh, I like those little lines on top of your eyes".

My eyebrows are tiny thin little things (my parents' fault, not teenaged-me going wild with the tweezers) and a few years ago I learnt to fill them in and now I kind of love them. I use a super cheap Rimmel pencil (I love it so much I bought a bunch of the same one) that has a little brush thing on the lid — first I…

Here's my favourite recent vocal-frier: Jessica Hynes' character in Twenty Twelve.

I have a colleague whose speech is incredibly fast, unbelievably quiet and puncuated with a sort of nervous mini giggle. She does the same nervous mini giggle noise before she speaks, between phrases, after she speaks and whenever anyone speaks to her. I thought it was because she was nervous starting her new job, but…