Are you saying this isn’t the face of a South Asian superhuman warlord?

No such thing as unfertilized embryos. Basic biology

But the Jezzies have always treated this rumor as absolute fact.

If you are going to fall into a Christmas tree...really commit to it.

As someone with three older brothers, I can confirm that childhood is essentially an amateur WWE production.

If it takes a year to decide if you were raped or not, you're either really slow or it wasn't rape.

No, because they will then lose their fear of snakes and likely die in the wild thinking “oh, that’s just a salad ingredient” or form unnatural bonds with the snakes and you’ll end up with catsnake babies slithering all over your yard.

“Please describe the accident.” “Trump Bump.”

“I mean, their street smarts are YOOOOGE. Tremendous street smarts from these women.”

I have a student who sincerely believed the illuminati run the world and Katy Perry is a satanist. I have the hardest time taking her seriously. What’s your secret?

Poor Bess Truman! They forgot to prepare her bottle for easy breakage.

Can I ask a question that might get me in trouble?

Anyone who thinks Bert and Ernie are gay has never watched Sesame Street. They are cohabitating because they are clearly adults with significant developmental disabilities and they can’t hold down a job between Bert’s pigeon and oatmeal 0bsessions and Ernie’s compulsive, inappropriate behavior, and they can’t afford…

You don’t need to feed your Jesus statue. He’s already..

I believe the appropriate word is "Congressman".

Am I high at work? WTF did I just read?

all I can see are the words BIG and HARD, yummy!

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.