Ah, the days of Car Talk and their long-suffering legal representation: Dewey, Cheatham & Howe.

It already looks . . . blurry. Like, I have an eighteen-year-old tattoo that’s never been touched up, and the colors have softened (and I think it’ looks better that way than when it was fresh).

Kara Brown:

It’s like that woman who had seizures whenever Mary Hart was talking on Entertainment Tonight.

Just out of curiosity, how much time do you spend telling telling women with lupus how horribly selfish you think they are for having children?

I remember being mocked on the playground for having hairy legs. “Do you think you’re a boy? Why don’t you shave?” I was twelve. It was why I learned to shave my legs from my direly nearsighted mother, who taught me to shave them with one foot up in the sink, because it was the only way she could see if she’d been…

Come on. Pro-life women are famous for their moronic refusal to think through the effects of their actions.

The “Rape of Europa” has been, and continues to be, the term that is used to describe the way that Nazis stole valuable art from across Europe.

The advantage is that “male” and “female” begin with different letters, which is why their use as nouns is deeply entrenched in large systems like medicine and government. It’s just handy to be able to abbreviate things in that way, and it’s extra work to make your brain say “woman” when you’re looking at “F.”

That’s hilarious and horrifying. It’s like the college version of the group dressing room at Loehmann’s.

A white former student once told (also white) me that the only thing that could come of race-based admissions was setting minorities up for failure. Her case: She knew a Latina girl from her high school who had gotten into a good university, just because she wasn’t white, and the girl had dropped out after her first…

Wasn’t Daddy always going to buy her her first job, anyway?

I got paid to write something like ten second-round med school applications once, all for the same woman. It was her second year applying (she hadn’t gotten in anywhere the first year), and it quickly became apparent to me that it was largely because her answers sucked. She just didn’t know how to play the application…

. . . that’s a weird way to look at it.

There is just nothing about that woman that isn’t for sale.

I’m still waiting for, “Why are you comfortable supporting a candidate who openly mocked a journalist’s physical handicap? Can we assume you no longer object to use of the word ‘retard’?”

As an instructor, I froze in terror when I saw that name on my attendance sheet for the first day. Got it right, woo!

When I moved into my old place, my downstairs neighbor introduced herself and explained that I shouldn’t trust any of the other neighbors, because they were just all awful people and she couldn’t get along with any of them.

Oh, other states are still going to pass those laws and insist on trying to take them to the Supreme Court. Pro-lifers are dumb, nasty, selfish shits who love wasting others’ money; it’s an act of public masturbation that allows them to tell themselves they’re good people and are doing something about abortion.

I believe it’s time we began pursuing legislation that would prevent pro-life women from bringing rape charges against men in the case of penile-vaginal intercourse.