I think a lot of the doubt directed Dylan’s way is related to just when it occurred: The absolute bullshit of the 1980s satanic ritual abuse cases, which ruined so many lives, was starting to be seriously recognized. We knew just how easy it is for an untrained and anxious questioner to result in children’s fake…

You forgot toxins!

Well, it is published by women who’ve spent most of their lives socialized to think this way. Regardless of your intentions, you don’t just shake that shit off at will.

So your ultimate bacne plan was “human churro.” I like it.

I watch SVU because of Ice-T’s nonsensical dialoge (“THE KIDS TODAY CALL IT ICEBOMBING”), Carisi’s nonsensical job assignment (“I CANNOT STOP BEING A CREEPER WHILE INVESTIGATING SEX CRIMES”), and that’s about it.

I am trying to figure out what magical psychic powers people have in which they already know which particular political movement these women were choosing to support. I guess nobody can bother to wait for an answer from any of them?

And yet, I couldn’t get you to admit that both you and he are Christians until I insulted you.

I’ve made it absolutely clear how you could please me: by saying that you accept this man as a fellow Christian. I’ve said this repeatedly.

Things that are Christ-like:

I get it.

When I tell people I’ve read Stephen King’s It ten times, nobody seems to care about that, either, even when I say, “But I usually skip the underage sewer gangbang.”

So what is he? Is he a Buddhist? Has he accepted Christ as his personal savior? Because I thought that’s all you needed to be a Christian. Because, surprise, being Christian doesn’t mean you’re a good person, it means you follow a particular religion.

Bullshit.

My oldest nephew’s birth video is sort of hilarious. After he came out, nobody thought to turn off the camera, so there’s a very long sequence that just consists of an off-camera somebody’s hands slowly pulling and tugging on the umbilical cord still spooling out of my sis-in-law’s crotch. Finally, the afterbirth pops…

I am currently addicted to exactly three shows with current episodes: Game of Thrones, Gotham, and Bates Motel. The last of the three, which I watch on A&E’s proprietary channel, which sucks balls and makes me want to torrent the show illegally, has a bunch of commercials for a special app you can download that is…

My folks are juuuuuuuuuuust prior to baby boomers; technically, they’re WWII babies - 1940 and 1942. My mother still has her milk ration book from her infancy. I’m in my thirties; they were just pretty old when they had me.

For me, that moment was in junior high when my mother told me about a boyfriend she had in her twenties (before my dad!). She was a small-town public school teacher, and had to go to the next town over if she wanted to go out on a date or have a drink in public. She was in a bar, dancing with her boyfriend at the time…

Well, this is at 20 weeks or more, so more, like . . . a good-sized banana.

Well, Madonna says it didn’t. Is there a reason you think she’s a liar, rather than a biographer who refers to “official documents” they never produce and didn’t fucking ask her about it?