I do have some sympathy for the schools here, which have much more limitations than the universities involved. They don’t even have school nurses - they sure as shit don’t, as universities often do, have Title IX offices who knows what all the options are when they’re faced with problems like these. PLUS they have the…

I legitimately love some weird celebrity commercials. I fucking love listening to Donald Sutherland’s dulcet tones purring to me about orange juice. I refuse to believe that man desperately needs money, I want to believe he just loves orange juice that much.

So they all joined a good ol’ boys club where they could sit around and jerk off at how much they like bullying homosexuals, women, and religious minorities, and it turned out to be run by a bully?

Man, if I’m ever in a tug-of-war game, I am so picking “The team with Leslie Jones.”

You’re demanding banning books while still saying your opinion shouldn’t be criticized?

My dad’s from Queens, and yet somehow - SOMEHOW - he’s managed to live his life without saying he would pay the legal fees for anyone who wanted to beat the shit out of someone who disagrees with his views.

Now, if only Jezebel had a writer who specializes in food/service work. Who was named Pinkham and hadn’t been let go.

I just learned that my mother is a bad tipper. Like, she doesn’t refuse to tip, but she always does exactly ten percent. She’s generally a good person, and I think her lousy tipping is mostly because she’s in her seventies and behind the times. I see her like once a year, and I’m not sure how to talk to her about…

Is Leslie Jones a giantess or are the other three women very short?

I would tend to be sympathetic towards the players because I work in academia, and have found that the privacy requirements around all misbehavior make everything insane. I had a colleague who wasn’t told that their student had committed suicide until she finally tracked down their advisor to ask why they weren’t in…

Honestly, I feel like she made the big mistake that usually happens: talking about Natives/First Nations people like they’re a single ideology. Sure, the Navajos had them some skinwalkers, but the Mohawks didn’t. The Utes didn’t. The Chippewa Didn’t. The Choctaws thought witches could turn into owls that would eat…

Hey, unless oral counts, I was. I think I was a “technical virgin” until . . . 27? That’s probably right. They say you never forget your first time; I did. Though I will say I have never been “athletic.”

Seriously. Alito is truly a nasty little piece of work who has basically been overshadowed up until now because even though he has Scalia’s alleycat morality, he’s nowhere near as bright.

That is . . . a big jump for me. Given the kind of portrait the writer works up for her, I would say it suggests, instead, that he feels she was trying to adjust to new flirting and sexual norms culturally while also figuring out just how to be an adolescent, and it left her less prepared for the form the assault…

I would like to volunteer to force pro-lifers to physically devour your corpse at gunpoint. Let them literally eat their crimes.

Ah, yes, the “No soap radio!” phenomenon.

There are (MANY!) places in the world where surrogacy is flat-out illegal, for various reasons and in various places. It’s possible that some of those places would consider this a different, and more permissible, option - though it’s unlikely to be be permitted in the countries where surrogacy is illegal because they…

I realize this wouldn’t work for an 81-year-old woman, but I fantasize about this response:

When I go on my mass shooting spree, I hope to shit the news doesn’t use a picture of me in which I’m wearing an apron and a sleeveless undershirt.

Colorado would genuinely be a safer and better place if his brains had been violently sprayed across a cinderblock wall at the age of fifteen. There were nearly two thousand students in the school that day; being a stupid fucking douchebag in response is a choice made by only a few.