He is a potato.

Ha! Hubs is a Ravenclaw, hence his action up into starting the car while I went Furious-Scared Hermoine.

Oooh! That’s a good thing to tell my child. I always tell him, “You can’t plan for evil or crazy [regarding school shootings, etc.] so you just have to be able to think on your feet and improvise. Don’t panic. Assess your situation. Act accordingly. Then, when it’s over, apply what you learned going forward.”

Sorry!!! I was talking to the husband about it last night and he said, “Man, I was so pissed off at that guy!” He freezes in anger, not fear. It only occurred to him later that it might have been a scary situation.

Nope nope nope. That’s horrifying.

Oh! My bad. Sorry about that.

Uuuugh. I’d never put that together before. I’m going to tell this story to my son to keep him from parking, though.

I’m not sure if it was fast thinking or just sheer panic. Either way, hubs got us out of there before worrying about zipping his pants and I am forever grateful for that.

I remember thinking that he was pranking me or we were about to get arrested. I had taken off my glasses and the windows were kind of fogged up, so I was practically nose-to-nose with the creeper when it clicked with me that being arrested was probably the least of my worries.

PERFECT excuse to never go to a park ever again. That and wasps.

It is not my favorite thing to have happened in life.

Right?! The scariest part of the story is that someone accused this man of something he clearly did not do because no one saw him do it.

More guts than sense.

NOTHING will ever top that one.

Honestly? I’m still scared. Ha! Ha. I’ll have nightmares about it now and then, just this man’s face popping up in a window or a mirror.

When my husband and I got engaged, I was living with a roommate. To save money for the wedding, rather than re-upping my lease, I moved back into my childhood home. This meant my parents and grandparents (who lived there) were always keeping an eye out to be sure we weren’t fornicating.

So, being creative, young…

Someone is married to him? Did he strangle her unconscious and have that same judge pronounce them husband and wife while she was out? When she woke up, he told her he wasn’t really going to kill her, he just needed her to think she would die to enhance the flavor of the chicken pot pie she was now going to go make…

Choir, I’m preaching to you: It isn’t about romantic overtures. It’s about being trapped in a position upon which your livelihood depends, and having to grin and bear unwanted advances so you can fucking eat and pay your bills. It’s not that hard to understand!

That is some restraint! 

It just makes me want to stand up and go to church, shouting amen.