My dad said I could sell the pooptube.

On the bright side, it appeared to be consensual.

How about another exclamation mark?

Buster: Can I open a can of soup for you?
George Michael: Can it open cans?
Buster: Can what open cans?
BOTH: Oh God!!

Who gives a Tyler Perry's shit?

How nice of him to heat them up first.

Weiland's filled with more than the Christmas spirit

And at least one hip hop dance number. Throw a couple double entendres in for good measure too.

I'm gettin' too old for this shirt!

Don't listen to the turkeys

I get excited every time this trailer comes on in a theater. Hearing people genuinely laugh at "He just wants to play twista with your sista!" makes me laugh uncontrollably.

There's my chippy!

No Tweets Attached

You misunderstand, Cain will be riding in your caboose.

The resolution on this dingdong is

For that to happen Dawes would have to use crude terms to label themselves, like "band" and "songs." Thereby cheapening their transcendental offerings to the universe. Which we all know are unquantifiable.

I don't think they covered any of  that in the one book Ratner has read.

Wa da tah!

He'll be prevented from crossing over into the other side until everyone knows exactly how shitty melons are.

This is our punishment for taking Dawes' name in vain.