The best shit was immediately after that tweet he moved on to the “pig socks” after some vets criticized his making it about the military. Concrete proof even they don’t believe their bullshit.

To be fair looking at their current roster this IS the right move I guess. It’s the excitement in their tweet that makes it absurd. Like a mom or dad enthusiastically asking “Who’s ready for beef stroganoff?!” on what was expected to be pizza night.

Sadly Pete Davidson thought he was a very close friend & already got the bishop’s name tattooed on his back in a misguided attempt at being woke AF.

I knew a lot of LA Raider fans who felt like at least they were still in California when they moved back to Oakland, despite the distance. I mean Vegas is a shorter drive but with the exception of the weekend party crowd (bulk of being rich Hills kids who probably cheer for the Pats anyway) there isn’t a ton of LA…

Sure, one can argue that Las Vegas is about 95% tourists but hey! SOME of that 95% could be NFL fans & a smaller percentage of that percentage could even be Raiders fans & a percentage of that percentage’s percentage could be Raiders fans who aren’t pissed that the team left California completely!

I remember being in a college class & a classmate told a story about why she never gave money to homeless people because one time she & her boyfriend offered their post-drinking pizza leftovers to a homeless man asking for money for food & he refused. In her opinion, this meant he wanted money for drugs or alcohol…

Gruden probably feels like he needs at least 4 more QBs so those 2 picks will be a good start.

You’re forgetting that he was also a drunk who was constantly alienating people by being an asshole & somehow he managed to become an even bigger asshole after he got sober. A rare feat worthy of idolization. 

I love how many people seem to think AMC brought in Robert Mueller to head this investigation or something. As if it wasn’t like every other bullshit “internal investigation” in corporate history.

If a player COULD & did do what Marrone did in leaving Buffalo they’d only be slightly more signable than Kap.

No stranger who doesn’t suck has ever been a surprise tag-along to hanging out. If someone has one redeeming quality it will be the focal selling point of their warned presence.

How fucked are we when I’m sincerely worried that Trump can actually find a worse AG than Sessions? 

I ditched Twitter after they repeatedly ignored a guy’s 100% legitimate death threats & attempted doxxing that he never even deleted. Sad, because around like 2011-ish I used to have a lot of fun on there.

*IG photo of some asshole’s bare feet reclining with a view of the sun setting over the ocean*

I have “Ariana calls off the wedding” in a pool. I had first dibs & really was torn between that & “Divorced after 3 months”.  

Well I know when I left the catholic church my Monsignor said he would miss me & wished me & my family well. When my friend quit Scientology they told her it’d “be a shame” if her father lost his job & a couple of weeks after someone left a polaroid taken from inside her living room in her mail box.

The main reason Scientology gets labeled as a cult though is because they are a cult.

An app of course. Well sorry, buddy but porn also qualifies as a “gig”.

Sean Payton is the perfect NFL coach. He spent the bulk of his time as an assistant being terrible at his job, did okay in Dallas for a couple of years & then became untouchable in New Orleans after landing Drew Brees as he was entering his prime...and only because Miami chose a former MVP caliber QB coming off knee…

I was thinking also maybe after his brother took off someone probably saw the door open, *determined no one was home & alerted Jenkins who then couldn’t get a hold of his brother & texted someone else to call the police & make sure he just forgot to close the door.