There’s a problem. Especially if she’s shutting down conversations with “THERE IS NO PROBLEM.”

If it’s really been a year, sounds like it’s way more than a sex drive thing.

My wife and I have been married for ten years and during that time we’ve had everything from going nearly a full calendar year without having sex to fucking multiple times a day for a couple weeks straight. Only once have we had what I’d describe as “maintenance” sex. Never again. I'd rather go a year without sex…

Ok I’ve gotten drunk to the point where I’ve vomitted/been drunk the whole next day, but I still remembered not to yell at my friend for being a shitty person, because social graces and such. How the fuck do you forget that it’s not cool to masturbate in public? How are you still conscious?

Oh, lol, sorry. Some people on Jezebel will use /s or /sarcasm if they’re being sarcastic... I do it sometimes because I joke about inappropriate shit and my sarcasm is hard to catch if you don’t know me.

We’re open and we have an interesting take on it, because hubby is one of those fellows who is simply not quick to reload (not that there’s anything wrong with that - it’s just how his junk works). So while he loves sex, he just simply cannot orgasm if he doesn’t wait 24-48 hours between climaxes. Well, he can, but…

Soooo you’d rather she have sex she doesn’t enjoy/want with you out of obligation? Maybe that’s not what you meant but given the bent of this article that’s kind of what it sounds like. :\

Both partners being ok with the quantity and quality of the sex is what’s important.

Everything I’ve seen about open marriages say that having a functional relationship with constant communication is critical to making that work. If your relationship is faltering, I doubt having more sex with other people is going to improve things, whether the relationship is open or closed.

Gee, he was drunk and doesn’t remember turning into a public masturbator and stalker? Nice how he offers to go to “therapy or something”. Hey, dude, if you’re going to claim that demon liquor made you do it, that might be a good place to start.

That’s a good point. I was thinking more about people who were seriously mismatched prior to getting married and knew it, but were hoping things could change or it wouldn’t be a big deal.

I had the most frequent and experimental sex when I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. Part of why we had a lot of sex was because I was eager to do something that we both seemed to enjoy— I was desperately unhappy, seriously depressed, and socially isolated for much of that relationship otherwise. My other…

Except life happens. Maybe the person you married who has a high sex drive loses it after having a baby, or getting depressed, or getting cancer, or has ED, or or or. People are not static.

Having sex in general or with each other? I think it would be an interesting side component to see what the relationship was like for “open marriage” situations.

Having sex out of obligation triggers anxiety for me. I leave all of those relationships.

Not mention the fact that libidos are subject to change.

That sounds painful. Is there a cream for that?

I think this is really important. If you're not BOTH happy with your sex life, the answer isn't simply that the wants more person deal with it. Or that the wants less person just put out on demand. But sexual disparity is brutal in a relationship and it can't remain the status quo. Figuring out why is really critical…

Do what you want folks!

Obvious being obvious: quantity =/= quality