I went on a date once, and I was invited by the woman back to this incredible loft where she was dog-sitting for out-of-town friends.

Oh, you weren’t there?

bewigged Hantavirus Donald Trump

I think he may be trying for a Supreme Court position. I don’t know which scares me more, that or a Trump presidency.

Like Santorum?

Guys, I think we got played.

Lovely piece. Thank you for introducing me to a wonderfully complex lady who deserves a contemporary audience.

What is this “no doggystyle” you speak of

I know nothing about him but I don’t like him because his character in The Devil Wears Prada was insufferable.

actually its really really really easy.

Sam Bee is not obligated to support your quixotic dream of remaking our democracy at the expense of our actual democracy.

I copped that from someone on twitter I think, forget who.

This is the most punchable face in the history of punchable faces.

Rookie mistake. You NEVER go to TGI Friday’s for mozzerella sticks. (RIP Gawker!)

The timing is the icing on this shitcake he is serving her.

There have been situations where I feel like I’ve been ill-treated, yes.

This is the best sprots articel I have ever read.

Harambe worked for the Cincinnati Zoo too.