Hopefully more like “Blind Until I’m Sure There’s Gonna Be A Sizable Divorce Settlement”.

I mean, Melania was willing to let the illiterate personification of a burst hemorrhoid in a toupee fuck her at least a few times. She did this based on the knowledge that she’s getting a reasonable payout when his smooth,…

I kinda hope he at least tried for the “I thought it was you!” angle before maybe finding a way to fake brain damage. You already fucked up, might as well swing for the fences.

I turned away some otherwise-very-nice Mormons a week ago by pointing out that David Bowie being dead, but Alex Jones maintaining ability to speak and/or be alive is irrefutable evidence that either God does not exist, or he does and hates us all.

I can fucking hear Wayne LaPierre achieving an extended orgasm from here, which is the first time since the Obama administration he’s been able to do this without the aid of his extensive snuff film collection.

This is breathtaking in just how few fucks he gives.

How fucking soulless do you have to be to think this job is possibly worth the money? At least The Mooch can blame it on the eight ball of coke he had stuffed up his asshole 10 minutes prior to every single time he said anything on record ever. Sanders has had the same vaguely bored/annoyed look on her face for months…

A shitty videogame ripoff made by people looking to cash in on the name brand of a movie they’ve heard the kids like for a quick buck? One that wears its Appeal-To-Bros design checkbox so blatantly on its sleeve that Fred Durst is a playable character?

There needs to be a maximum voting age. If you’re old enough that you don’t come equipped with sufficient internet savvy to smell this shit from miles off, you probably shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions the rest of us are going to have to live with.

I think the answer is Yes, Everyone Has Always Been This Stupid.

It’s just way (way) easier for them to communicate it now. Thanks internet!

Everyone talks about using their time machine to go back and kill Hitler. I vote kill Twitter.

Had a boss who was from Goa; family was from somewhere else in India (I’ve entirely forgotten where) but he’d routinely come back from family visits with the most ridiculous Bollywood films he could find.

Quite a few of them, while not as explicitly Hindu as most ‘Murikan Xtian films are Christian, are still…

Hits the nail on the head; the “soft” racists I’ve bumped in to have, slowly but fairly reliably, dropped their racism (and homophobia, and islamophobia, and pretty much anything else) when required to have exposure to the people they’re othering for an extended period of time. Working in San Francisco you could watch…

First: Fuck me, the video footage of this is chilling as all hell. You can hear bullets skipping off the pavement while people are screaming. It’s absolutely horrifying. I really wonder if this dude just snapped or what? Reddit’s been banging around the theory that he had an undiagnosed brain tumor similar to Charles…

Man. Took ‘em a while to be convinced that it wasn’t some kind of fad, but Japan finally embracing Steam is probably the best thing about Steam these days.

I wonder which major JP dev holdout will crack first, Nintendo or Sony? Both seem equally unlikely, but it’s hard to look at all that money on the table and not…

Gotta hit ‘em where it hurts, yo. If he does want the D, he’s also Jeff Sessions and is a conservative homophobic racist shitbird and will be super angry that I brought up his deep dark secret, so I rolled with that.

Hey, Sessions, I didn’t get to join this facebook page in time, but on the off chance Kinja’s next on your Old-White-Man-Tries-To-Lawyer-The-Internet hit list, lemme just make my stance clear: Suck my fucking dick, you Dobby-lookin’ inbred cowfucker piece of shit. I pray nightly for your death, ideally from choking on…

Man, you’re gonna get some hate mail for this one.

Also the greys are gonna be amazing.

I’m really torn.

I mean, okay. You have a life-threatening allergy? Yo, you need to have documentation on you then. Regardless of whether you think it’s fair or not, the airlines allow animals in the cabin on flights. You’re a professor, lady. You should be at least semi-aware of this.

I have a co-worker who has one of…

Yeah no. That’s not how this works. At all.
Uber reviews aren’t movie reviews. 3 stars isn’t average. It starts with 5 stars at “All went well” and then you knock off points from there. Think of it as electing to give a full, normal tip at 5 stars to reducing it for every star you give.

Is Uber kinda dumb for…

That’s...Kinda weird. Is it showing them crossing the barrier earlier in the trailer, there? Isn’t it supposed to be invisible, and they don’t even remember crossing it (admittedly due to hypnosis but still)?

And “rescue” her husband? I mean...I guess, but he’s already come back in the book, sorta, and...Man. I really…

So uh. Am I the only one looking forward to watching this schoolbus fire of an idea actually happen? Can you imagine if he actually gets the money and then has to somehow figure out how rockets actually work? And make one? On a budget of (heh) $200,000? We’re not even gonna make it to the Earth-Is-Flat part, I expect…