I’ve never found him attractive... But now that I’ve seen him in makeup I would bang him like a screen door in a hurricane. Lip Sync Battle is doing the lord’s work.

Yep, we should definitely ban abortion. Cause EVERYONE should have babies.

Going to assume the former.

Hallelujah, praise God

I consider that more a flaw in our economic governmental systems than some need for us to have this ‘winner take all’ attitude towards ideas. I’d rather focus on solving the whole problem rather than give a broken idea more strength because another broken idea supports it, you know?

That person really does have a boner for Segway tours.

This should be the top comment. I’m glad you’re in a family that thinks girls are just fine and dandy (becuase we are).

When we were kids, my sister and I baptized a litter of kittens.

This is pretty off topic but it always gives me pause when someone mentions baptism. I went to Catholic high school but am not and was not raised Catholic. One of my teachers had a son who refused to baptize his new baby so she performed a “lay baptism” on the baby. This infuriated me, even at 15, and I gave her hell…

I have no clue.

Never watch Say Yes to the Dress. You will be appalled by the “budgets” mentioned by brides. When they drop $9,000 on one of those tacky Pnina Tornai monstrosities, it's mind-boggling. At least an Oscar has a chance of becoming an heirloom.

Practice

I have a cross stitch sign in my bathroom that says “Please don’t do coke in the bathroom.”

What’s your deal with Segway tours? You’re either the proprietor of one such company or have a direct interest in the industry, there’s no such thing as a Segway enthusiast.

...which has little to do with those actual patents, unless there’s something in there I missed? Because ‘signaling to the user via mechanisms that are part of the creation process’ isn’t something that anybody should be able to patent in a sane world

Those $200-$400 not-hoverboards are selling like hotcakes, which proves that it wasn’t that the Segway makes you look like a tool that was its failure, it was just the price point. Ah, humanity.

What about people who don’t let you get off a train before they try to get on?

To be clear, I called this last month and you all owe me $20 if it happens

I will put $20 on the live Mulan remake not actually starring a Chinese person.