This is my favorite of her so-called awesome songs (except Call Me Maybe, which was catchy as hell) but I still don’t get the mad Jezebel love.

Everyone involved is a loser, except for Nicki. She’s still a queen.

Meee!!! School actually started at 7:30, but I was a peasant who had to take the bus and the buses had to be there at 7 for literally no reason.

Seriously. I just want to see a dude’s face (preferably handsome).

Porn isn’t about realism. Also, they take turns.

It really helped me too! With other issues as well. It’s like a little voice in my head is amplified, and it goes, “Really, girl? You’re not gonna wash that dish even though it takes two seconds?” I can’t be high all the time but I remember things like that.

Do you take anti-depressants? If not, I suggest smoking weed everyday.

I second weed and liquor. Why do people even try anything else?

OMG

To clarify: I’m all for disposable diapers, ain’t nobody got time for that. But they are ecofriendlier, that’s like saying paper plates are better than washing dishes. Remember you’re also actively killing trees to make them, and it takes energy to make them.

[insert my grandma’s remark on how she used cloth diapers—cheapest and eco-friendly]

100% YES ON YOUR LAST PARAGRAPH. Seriously, wtf are we now, Nazis? Don’t use evolution to excuse shit behavior.

The reverse of this story would never occur and I am very sad you continue dating him. Brb, jumping off a bridge.

DAMN IT WAYNE

In Japan, courtesans and geishas (basically anyone who wore that white makeup) stained their teeth black to counteract it looking yellow in comparison. It looks horrifying if you see it now.

This is fascinating. I do generally prefer white sheets, towels and blankets in hotels because they can be bleached. Ever since getting a terrible strain of food poisoning I love bleach.

Humans: Fucking up shit for every other species for 2.5 million years

I agree—my reaction was actually first “What the fuck?!?” And then “Rape of course... Why the fuck are you asking?”

**googles Trainwreck stunt penis**

Rape, 100%. I would literally cooperate to avoid death. Next dark question.