The scene: Horrible abusive relationship. The inevitable morning after the all too familiar horrific night before. I am packing my bags. Unfortunately not for the first time, and not for the last.

I came back from the doctor and said I probably couldn't get pregnant without a lot of help - help I've decided I didn't want. He hugged me, said it was OK, and asked me to marry him. Right there, in the hallway, with a litter box not 2 feet away. I said no.

Just to let you know, I earmarked my tax money to pay for this particular guy's pizza, so lay the fuck off. It's paid for, we got it covered.

The upside is that, if anyone has ever deserved a shitty tip, it's you!

Those ungrateful Poors. Obviously wasting money they clearly don't deserve.

He's an alcoholic (though sober for many years now) and was using heroin at the time, if I remember correctly. He was also a bit of a pyro from the time he was a kid. So, he got kicked out of the bar for some reason or another, and in his seriously intoxicated state, decided that that was just an injustice that…

The craziest thing I have ever seen was when I was bartending at a strip club. Guy comes in and he's weird. Tries to hit on every person lacking a y chromosome including myself. Anyway, he starts harassing one of the dancers. She is a quiet, sweet woman that just so happens to be wearing thigh high boots that night.…

HOW ARE YOU 19? Jesus fuck. You don't come off as a teenager at all, and I absolutely mean that as a compliment because teenagers generally just annoy/frighten me at my advanced age.

They don't just want you to friendly, they want you to be subservient. Power tripping assholes.

My mother was working in a restaurant when she was 20, and she had previously warned the manager on numerous occasions about serious issues with the smoke hoods, and the air vent. The manager never did anything about it.

Girl yes! Not the girl throwing the shower.. her friend. Her cheap friend that once screamed across a cheesecake factory for more "free bread"

I agree. Or if he's rude. I went out with a dude a few weeks ago who was rude to the beertender, even though she was slammed, and was doing a really good job. He talked shit about her where she could hear him, and then she ignored us (as I would have because fuck you, man) until it was time for us to go. He was…

"As a palate cleanser for the last two weeks, please enjoy some stories of terrible customers receiving their just rewards."

Also, I had the BEST server this weekend. He was a high schooler and he freaking... He was just so excited about everything on the menu, and his job, and chocolate sauce. I don't even know. I'm gonna go on yelp and write lovely haikus about him.

Should I talk about the time my mother accidentally burnt a restaurant down?

"In contrast to gun violence generally, perpetrators of mass shootings disproportionately target women. Whereas only 15% of total gun homicide victims are women, 51% of mass shooting victims are women."

If someone pees in public they must register as a sex offender. If someone beats up their partner, the police doesn't give a damn, until there's one or more dead bodies. Why not make them register somewhere, too?

We don't all have the greatest start in life unfortunately, humanity has not been kind to me on the whole.

I was working at a marina. I ended up pumping this guy's gas into his boat. Now in his defense, I am wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and was just done with cutting down a tree, so I got scratches and shit all over me. I'm nine days into a two week shift there.

Similar story: I had dyed black hair that clashed with my skin tone, and to wanted to go purple, another color that makes me looks washed out and sallow. I had about two inches of root at this point. I bought Punky Colors bleach and bleached it, but it turned my roots blonde and my other hair orangutan Orange. Rather…