I’m sorry, I’m not usually around for SNS (I’m at work putting on holiday parties this evening! lol) so I may be suggesting things that have been suggested before....but do you have an HR department? Started documenting her shit so if/when comeuppance times come you have all the proof? I’m sorry she’s such an awful…

Ugh. My BFF has turned into exactly the person you described. It’s dreadful. She’s dreadful, and I don’t even know what to do or say anymore. She is also the gas lighting type so pointing out that she has a problem does nothing. Good luck with your party, just avoid this lady as much as you can. 

You should record your conversations with her.  That could be fun.

Can you skip these parties, or are they mandatory? I blew off our workplace holiday potluck yesterday.

YOU GUYS. I’m working a late night event tonight but my executive director just told me Michelle Obama might be visiting us!!! She’s in town for a book reading(?) which I couldn’t get tickets to, as I was working. Fingers crossed!

In the space of a year:

Pity you couldn’t give her a bottle of ipecac syrup and a large bottle of mouthwash.

I look like a German milkmaid, my sisters look like Italian supermodels. I feel a hint of your pain. One of them once accused me of blacking out and eating her rice pilaf. [Spoiler alert: Mom ate it.]

Please tell me you punched her in the tit.

Or a nice senna laxative tea.

Or extra strength laxatives.

You should have given her a bottle Dexatrim or Slimfast as a revenge gift.

Wow

Ouch. 

FUCK OFF SERIOUSLY?

Nice, let’s get a bill that gives a whole lot more than 12 million dollars so:  “We’re going to investigate every single [rape] because these women are worth it.”

We don’t have universal, accessible health care.

I thought I bombed the interview for my current job. But the awkward question I actually asked (it was about how the tellers get into the individual booths for drive-in lanes) made an impression, and my honesty was apparently not the disaster I thought it was.

First? I heart early SNS!

I don’t think it’s so much a scandal coming soon as the fact that he’s clawing back into everyone’s good graces after being labeled a traitor as the sole carry-over from GBBO’s BBC days.