I expect he's going to continue in a more upward direction from here on out...

I was...unsuccessful.

My wife is home sick today, I'll try it now. brb

This is amazing and was kind of exactly my experience reading the books. Yes, all three. I was bedridden with stomach flu and someone sent me the PDFs. I read the whole fucking thing and I was like WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. These books are like some disgusting fried appetizer you get at Chilis or TGI Fridays that you…

A booger picked from someone's boyfriend's nose, for $100, and a tragicomically misguided sense of pride and honour. I was 18 and.... not sober.

Ahhh, yer just blowin' smoke up my ass. Am I the first? Am I?

The answer to Lynch's question is quite simple. His refusal to engage the media is a thousand times more fun and entertaining than anything the average NFL player has to say to the press.

May I make the following suggestion for the position?

He should hire a spokesperson to sit and say shit to the reporters. That would make them more upset that they would have to go through someone to get to him. It would make for great articles and news reports!

You forgot another important aspect about Penn. The area (above ground) sucks too. It sucks hard. For blocks in every direction. No good food, too many tourists shopping along 34th, the traffic is horrible, and everything always smells like piss.

First and most importantly, as a former pizza delivery person fuck those cheap entitled assholes.

Just love your kids.

I actually find the "throat" ones the most horrifying, because they can so quickly become fatal.

You guys, a bunch of things have happened and it's so great:

The ducks at my sister's ranch are the boss of every single animal there. The horses, the dogs...whenever the ducks show up it's like "OK EVERYBODY SETTLE DOWN MOVE OUT OF THE WAY WE ARE DUCKS WE ARE HERE TO DO DUCK THINGS THANK YOU."