I love the way he seems to think that getting pregnant is something that fourteen-year-olds choose to do all by themselves out of a sense of sheer girlish fun, as if there's no way they could possibly have had any help in the matter. Help, say, from someone older and male. You know, just as an example.

I'd be very tempted to ask him what they've done for us lately, but that's just the kind of plebbish thing I would say.

That was exactly my thought when I picked my dress. Yes, so I could have worn something relatively simple or gone for a shorter dress... but it's not 1860 any more. I would have had literally no other excuse to ever wear a giant froofy gown covered with beads in my entire life, and I wanted to do that at least once…

My first crush was on a girl in the year above me, who for various space-related reasons I ended up sharing a classroom with anyway. I remember I sat opposite her at least some of the time. Her name was Victoria and I thought she was the prettiest person I'd ever seen: pale skin, straight dark hair, not already…

I was starting to worry about that. Poor kitty. At least most of the other Internet Cats out there are largely allowed to just be cats. There's something rather distasteful about the whole three-ring circus that has sprung up around Grumpy in particular.

This movie is a bad idea on so many levels, not least of which…

I liked Mockingjay, but I'm stranded in the grays and thus probably only count as like... half a person at this point,

Eh, I like to be able to look at him from time to time.

Now that you mention it, the shelf really isn't big enough for him and the cake topper.

Thank you, I'm planning to throw myself three more weddings as we speak! I just can't get enough of canapes or those foofy one-use-only dresses.

I went and stood outside catching up with a friend for the entire duration of the song, then I came back in. I'm not sure what that makes me except for blisteringly passive-aggressive, but I got some fresh air and a chance to talk to someone whose company I absolutely love without any kind of interruption. Besides, I…

Absolutely nothing stopped me, and it was <i>awesome</i>. Best day of my life by far and most of my guests seemed to have a pretty good time too. Probably because I wasn't actually trying to impress you, but I apologise unreservedly for not considering that.

I like to think I'm a relatively sane, balanced individual 99.8% of the time. (Note: 'relatively'.) That said, I got married just under two weeks ago and I let it be known that if anyone even dared to raise an objection when the officiant asked if anyone had a reason for me not to marry my husband there would be blood…

Hypothetically, the animals could be retired to sea pens, as happened in the first stages of Keiko's release back into the wild. Obviously some of the older whales at SeaWorld would not be suited to full-on release as they've spent so long in captivity, but it should at the very least be possible to rehome them in…

Well, damn, I got married nine days ago. And we're both Christians. I guess I'll just have to settle for an extramarital fling with the giant panda plush I met on honeymoon, who I suspect may be a Godless Heathen.

I realized it was time to step off the ride when I was spending more time and energy maintaining my virtual relationship with some ludicrously high-maintenance girl called Natasha or something than I was on planning my wedding to the actual flesh-and-blood human male I live with. When you're spending more time on a…

My fiance has always known I'll be keeping my own name when we get married, and we recently discussed the possibility of him taking mine instead. This was entirely his idea and, at the time, I was extremely touched that he'd want to. Thanks for enlightening me, O Wise Internet Sage! I now know that this wasn't a…

I'm engaged and planning to keep my own name. My partner has always been fine with it and has floated the idea of his adopting mine, but he doesn't think he's keen on dealing with the legalities of it - which is perfectly understandable because I don't want to bother either. People have asked us if we'd consider…

Princess Syndrome wouldn't be a problem for Disney if their roster of female protagonists wasn't something like 85% princesses. Besides, isn't this just blaming the women again?