That sounds more like one of Ryan’s spurned exes talking shit about his current relationship.

Sorry. Let me rework the second line: YOUR VAG IS PERFECT IN EVERY SINGLE WAY.

Is “laffy taffy” a vag reference?

I’m Duchess Crazy Linda and i’m here to say:

I personally think vagina lips are super awesome! I think we need someone the kids like these days to sing about how they love their lips as is & make it a trend.

The “expert” is a dude that has worked at the “I Can Guess Your Weight” booth at carnivals for a few years.

I’m about to turn 36 and I’m a pile of dust on the floor!

They're going to be really disappointed. $10k doesn't go that far.

I nearly spit out the soup I was eating when I came to “Zoidberging out of there.”

Slightly related: I was at a vegan/vegetarian expo over the weekend that was being held next to a gun and knife show.

She did mention spending it on her son, which is great.

They like ‘em kinda young. 28 is practically 30 which is practically 90!

Hmm. This is odd. I guess good for her though?

AWESOME!

I want to hear the other stories, especially the Puck one.

Yeah, Topher (terrible name) is attractive, whereas Toby is just kinda there.

I don’t believe this. Chris loves Anna and would never ever cheat or fall in love with anyone else.

This is what I was thinking. I’ve partaken plenty in my younger years, but now my use is limited to a few times a year. I don’t want to date someone whose hobby is pot. It smells, it's illegal here, and frankly it's boring to be around someone who is always high.

Boy Samantha.

People have been speculating that she has had a procedure done.