You can pry my dry shampoo from my cold dead lazy shower hating hands.

WHY HAVE I NEVER THOUGHT TO PUT CHEETOS IN MY MAC AND CHEESE BEFORE?!?!?!

I was one of those rare kids...even being the fat kid...that absolutely detested Cheetos. As a reformed fat adult I am mature enough to admit...that looks tempting to try once....Once.

Cheetoes breading?

Why bother with the goopey mac and cheese when they could use that breading on their Chicken Fries or something?

If you are a crafty person, Jo-Ann Fabric has the best fucking coupons because they let you combine them. They have an app you can download that is basically all coupons and you can take the 40% off one item coupon that they mail you, and combine it with the app coupon for 20% off your order and walk out with $100…

And he buckled to Tea Party bullshit, chose Sarah Palin for his VP. The madness of this election and his party’s open bigotry is largely on his shoulders.

Right!? Not only has this guy taken money from the NRA to keep their vile policies ahead of the safety and wishes of the people, but he has been in office way longer than President Obama had. He is, by far, the more guilty of the two.

If Diane Johnson wants this bill passed, best do it.

Right, but these are lifetime amounts. Roy Blunt has been in national office for 19 years. His total averages out to around $3200/year, or $266/month. For a lot of people that’s essentially a cheap car payment or a utility bill.

I know I feel so dirty...like I’ve taken a bath with a falafel or something.

Since you’re on the internet right now, you clearly have access to the staggeringly vast numerical, statistical differences which are relevant here. So I can only reach one logical conclusion:

Now stop trolling. You are 25-30 times more likely to die from guns in the US than you are in another developed nation, in large part due to the fact that we are the only ones with such insanely lax laws regarding gun control.

The GOP Senate, at the NRA’s instruction, voted down a regulation that would have stopped the sale of assault weapons to suspected terrorists, and specifically would have stopped the Orlando shooter. So yes, the NRA are fucking murderers. So are the Republican members of the Senate. They very specifically have the…

‘BREAKING: NRA says anyone on terrorism watchlist who tries to buy a gun should be investigated by the FBI and the sale delayed - Reuters’

Hysterical deafness.

This kid is pretty good for coming up with some really off the wall stuff and he always catches me off guard. I cannot believe that he will be 25 tomorrow, to me he will always be the teeny tiny red fuzz baby in the big incubator in the NICU.

We would have also accepted “The dog ate her copy of the constitution” or “It is in the mail.”

The Pulse massacre has launched Anderson into full IDGAF mode.

Pam Bondi: “I was defending the constitution”