My sweet daughter had a huge crush on Garfield, then later on Shaggy from Scooby Doo. She had a Shaggy Valentine card that she put under her pillow. She was so ardently in love with Shaggy at like 5 or 6 years old. We'd lay in bed at night listening to her singing improvised love songs to Shaggy. Many, many nights. It…

I lived in rural Ohio for a few years of elementary school. The bus ride was very long, I was very shy and I generally spent most of it admiring the scenery or reading a book. I was a good kid who didn't get up to back-of-the-bus shenanigans. One afternoon the girl in front of me turned herself all the way around in…

That's POSSIBLE?! God, please don't ever tell me what his gums said.

Why you gotta put that photo at the top if you want me to read your words after? A cannot read with the vapors.

How is it that Chevy is the uncomfortable-looking one in this photo?

Out with my girls, met a guy at the bar who looked like Steve Zahn and claimed he was a college professor. Of what? "Of life." Listen, I had a lot of hustlers who wanted to get down with me, but this kind of self-important crazy guy stuff really piqued me. So I agreed to go on a hike with him because I was new to town…

Gorgeous! Thank you so much for bringing this to Jezebel.

Good point. It's super dry here and I shower every 2 or 3 days. I bet I'd shower more in a humid climate.

Whitey white white girl here. About 3 times a week. I don't get to the gym often and my hair doesn't get greasy til about 3 days, so why waste the water?

I hear so many stories of people screwed up terribly by the JWs. Kudos for having the good sense to get away. Also - my mom is a narcissist too. So I feel ya, and I feel ya. (I recently quit her too, but that's another story...)

I quit a cult and half my family when I was 16. I grew up in the cult. Think Jehovah's Witness, but a bit weirder. I went to this fundamentalist church's private school where I got straight As but was mostly disliked by the other students for being a goody-two shoes. I studied the Bible all the time, was not allowed…

Yuck. Was raised by one of those idiot carob mommas. If only those babies could do the fade with you...

Me too. Hard work, totally worth it. Feel genuinely loved when I am with my people now and that is what it's all about.

#WalkeninawinterWonderland

This seems gobsmackingly obvious now but there was a point in my twenties when I realized that a bed without sheets and/or a wall hanging of either Jimi Hendrix or Jim Morrison = dealbreaker.

It was this: he set up a tv in the garage where he could smoke and drink while watching movies. Night after night. Eventually the garage won and I left. It wasn't even shocking or amusing. It was just boring and small and depressing. I still hate to think of him sitting in a ciggie and crap beer haze in his suburban…

You must smell heavenly, though.

I used to hang out with a couple of stripper dudes. Watching them have a panic attack over a butt pimple, I mean getting really freaked out, was the funniest, most adorable damn thing to me. It was so fucking endearing. But that's not what you're talking about...

My uncle left his wife to marry the babysitter. And those lovebirds stayed together in sweet loving devotion to each other and his children and grandchildren until they died of old age. They were lovely. And Jolene is a damn fine song. You're too right: no one belongs to anyone. People can leave you for the wrong…

I LOVE this stuff because I am a sucker for bergamot. I actually spray it in the air and walk thru it so I smell great all day. No actual poo required.