She puked on your needlework because you were giving it FAR too much attention. My cat pukes on my knitting projects from time to time. (Of course, it’s a lot easier to wash stuff knitted purposely with easy-care yarn.)

See, the problem with my cat is that he really pushes the cuteness factor so that his contribution to the household IS significant to warrant some of whatever I’m eating (unless it’s something dairy because no amount of cuteness is worth the resulting carnage in the litter box).

I’m glad I’m not the only person who tells my cat to get off her lazy ass and get a job.

Why are cats such assholes? I was sitting in bed last night eating cheese toast and one of my cats strolled over and viciously bit me on my hand! I’ve never fed her off my plate or even given her people food so I don’t know what she was thinking other than, “I have teeth and want to use them.” Bitch.

My dogs are so sweet they don’t need to contribute financially. I told them they can eat whatever they want when they grow opposable thumbs and learn to use the can opener.

Since you mentioned Stevia my advice is to go for the liquid formulations. They’re more expensive but I tossed/gave away multiple powders because I couldn’t tolerate the aftertaste.

Oh well, you slighted her in some way and didn’t do a peace offering. That’s what you get.
I had a cat in college who pissed on my roommat’s pillow because he stepped on her tail. I told him it’s because he didn’t apologize afterwards.

I’m thinking of starting a GoFundMe to pay off my student loan. Oh, and if you guys could also chip in towards my rent, that would be great. I also really need a vacation. Thanks!

Look, I’m sympathetic to the plight of having a baby when 5 seconds ago there was no baby...but this trend of everyone asking for public funding is getting a little excessive.

These people don’t deserve the public’s self-righteous outrage but I’m also super tired of everyone crowdfunding their lives. I’m ok with people not donating but, also, fuck off, Internet finger waggers.

If you don’t fully understand how crowdsourcing works, I doubt child rearing is going to go well.

Agreed. I did my big 15 pound ditch with unlimited diet soda as my treat. That was four years ago, and I have not either spontaneously combusted or spontaneously fattened, as the Food Babe would be I’m sure wont to tell me is coming.

Or get this: DOn’t be a slave to archaic sexist traditions that will cost you 10k’s and suck out your soul. Also no one really WANTS to spend money of fucking brides maids dresses and everyone else resents the idea of feeling obligated to go.

Why, exactly? This sounds like Food Babe nonsense.

Stevia tastes like crystallized butt powder. No matter how strong I make my iced tea I can still taste the aftertaste. Until someone addresses that I'm keeping my Splenda clutched tightly in my probably-cancer-ridden hands.

Thus the paradox of Mr. Wonderful.

Sounds like a family in contention for the Darwin Awards...

She is a child. A child. Far from home, living with strangers, and whose grasp of English is still nebulous. The ones who need to be ashamed of themselves here are the American host family who was supposed to be looking after her but were instead blithely standing around in close proximity to the animal and ignoring…

It seems like the American host family was the one being irresponsible and stupid, so maybe try not to put all the blame on her or generalize all foreign tourists.

When I was on vacation in Yellowstone one of the Rangers was telling me that he had had to stop parents who were going to try to put their children on the backs of bison or near bears in order to take a photo. The stupidity of humanity will never cease to amaze me.