Try twenty. I started having them around 35 years-old. I am 56 on Thursday and still occasionally have one. My mother "paused" finally in her early 60s. She had ONE. She said it wasn't that bad. BITCH. ;)

Longer than that, honey. I started getting hot flashes when I was forty four. I endured them cheerfully for eight years, doing all those cute little natural remedies that don't do shit, until I finally went insane, gave up and went on HRT.. blessed, blessed HRT..in my case an Estradiol patch, (with progesterone every…

I've been told about it over and over and experienced it myself right toward the end of my periods. I had a cleaning system that helped a lot!! I used wipes after urinating and bowel movements, and I wiped with vinegar on toilet paper several times a day. It helped. I would also stand in the shower twice a day and…

Stuff you need to know about menopause (but remember, every single woman is different, and your results will vary):

Hm. My Mom said she never got any hot flashes, so let's hope this shit is genetic.

I've spent my entire adult life being freezing at night. The last 15 years have been spent needing to put my icicles feet on my husband's thighs to keep warm, even in summer.

Eh, it's just a ball python. I'd be like, "Sweet! Free python!"

Actual photo of the scorpion in question before it got squished.

scorplings make them sound adorable

The school I work for has on site counseling services, and many of my students depend on them. They know when they are going to be picked up by their therapist, and they look forward to their sessions. The therapy is available to students who qualify for Medicaid, and it helps students so much to have therapy at…

Pretty sure you are legally obligated to propose marriage to such a man upon meeting him.

True story: I was a camp counselor when I was 17 and in charge of six 8 year old girls for the summer. We were all about to go to sleep when one girl pulled back the covers to her cot to find a scorpion in the "ready" position. I wanted to scream and run but could not, as somehow the camp put me in charge of these…

The chocolate store woman is clearly kin to "I'm allergic to crunchy".

Seriously. What the fuck is this shit?

Blow job week?

UGH the blowjob week idea is beyond annoying to me. Like, let me get this straight—you recognize that my body is doing some funky gross shit that is terribly unpleasant, yet you think that I'm in the mood to selflessly stick your dick in my mouth all week with no expectation of any sort of mutuality? NOOOOOPE.

Hello Tina. Your sister has been very mean to me lately. There's rat poison in the basement cupboard, you should put it in her cereal.

Creepy as hell. Not the playful conversation parts, but the tracking of the kids interests in a database.

"Barbie might suggest jobs like a singer or a dancer as a result."

The internet talking to toddlers through a doll. What could possibly go wrong?