Like Anna said, we’ve all read too many thrillers and seen too many movies like this and yet, it’s still difficult to believe that all those movies you’ve seen about a Manchurian Candidate is now real life.

My favorite thing about this election is that the same people who always bitched that Obama was soft on Putin are now enthusiastically supporting a guy who is openly sucking his dick. Excuse my language.

i’m trying to buy a house right now.

Seriously at this point how the fuck is this real life. It’s too much to absorb. Like my new reality has shifted too quickly and I can’t fucking handle it. If I had the money I seriously would just go and herd cows at this point. The world has gone fucking mad.

9am-5pm? thats fucking daylight hours!

PEEOTUS

Number one +1

+1 Rain Poncho

Just make sure you know what you’re signing up for at his hotels.

alternate headline:

A veteran criminal gang with 3 women and a 72 year old master counterfeiter? Can we get a show about them? They sound infinitely more interesting than the Kardashians.

They’re all in on it, or something. I don’t know who they are, but they’re in on it. It’s all a part of Kim Kardashian’s fiendish plot to something something whore something money whore. /Jessamina

Not going to lie, (and I’m pretty sure I’ll never utter these words again) but I was wrong about Kim in this instance.

I mean, catching a bullet in your mouth is a pretty old magic trick; Penn and Teller do a version of it as well, for instance, as do many other magicians. I think Blaine’s version is that he actually does get shot at.

This does not sound like a magic trick.

I think the question is, what is being faked here? He openly holds a metal cup in his mouth. A bullet is fired into said cup. Apparently, even if the cup shatters, the bullet is coming at a velocity that will only cause minor injuries. Wow?

This may come as a surprise to you, but ALL magic tricks are fake.

Kids can make the most emotionally mature person lose their goddamn shit. There’s a sweet spot from 4.5 to about 11-12, where kids are great for the most part.

I can’t believe they’re both really gone.

I can’t with this right now. My mom had to have one of our cats put to sleep at around one in the morning today, and I’m already super emotional. So this trailer is emotion overload.