I don’t want to be the wet blanket on the snark, but there is nothing wrong with taking some classes as a middle aged adult person. Especially if it’s something you are interested in.

I’ve told my husband that he should remarry. He deserves to be happy. However, my engagement ring, a family heirloom, is to be returned to my mother. Under no terms is That New Bitch (who I’m sure is lovely and smart and thoughtful because husband has very good taste) to have it. Step off, New Bitch.

Yes, far better than I’m capable of, frankly.

My cat’s breath smells like cat food.

Hey Shep, or anyone else, I just bought a refurbed Surface Pro so I’m expecting the battery to be a bit past its prime. Do you have any suggestions for a reasonably priced laptop power bank or some other external battery for it?

Hey Shep, or anyone else, I just bought a refurbed Surface Pro so I’m expecting the battery to be a bit past its…

Wee wee? Seven year olds shouldn’t be having sex, do you need to talk to an adult?

Thank goodness you were here to discuss your boner.

I’m 24 and fully insured. When I was 23, I tried to get an IUD from my now-fired gyno a few months back. At first, she tried to counsel me otherwise, at least partially because I had just gotten married and it would “annoy her” when I “inevitably came back in eight months” to have it removed. I said, ya know, I had…

I think it would be kind of neat and weirdly fitting if we found out that Kris was super into existentialism. If she just decided that the world is a meaningless and absurd place and since everything is transitory she can make her own life mean what she wants it to and somebody handed her some Kierkegaard or Sartre…

I have a feeling she’s a final sale. No returns. No exchanges.

Did she come with a gift receipt? Where do you go to return your Kris Jenner?

what if you’re not restrained you’re just dead inside

oh yeah, let me adjust my entire personality just so you can feel like you can like me more. i’ll get right on that.

On a completely separate topic I love the new polling application. I hope we see it a lot more and hopefully it becomes something the community can use for sub-blogs and personal blogs.

Me reading the headline: “Oh man, I hope she pounded it.”
Me reading the article:

This is the woman who should be on the new US $20 bill.

You ever notice how you don’t see stupid sayings or whatever on the walls or social media of people who have their shit together?

I’m sick of the words stuck/painted/whatever right onto the wall itself. No saying is so important/cute/kitschy it needs to laminate itself right onto my wall.

totally obvs not racist!

Lets just not mention that yelawolf has biracial children, and that he’s also engaged to a black woman... lol