Oh I know what I’m missing - ass taste in my mouth. I haven’t eaten a piece of asparagus in over 20 years. I’m so good on that nastiness!

Bullseye caramels are the shit. They were my grandpop’s favorite and a treat we used to share (I miss my grandpop), but I’d like them without that association. So hmph.

I gotta heat up my cup of noodles in the microwave for at least three minutes or until they start to spill over the side. that stupid boil water and let sit method is trash.

I’m glad I helped you through the horror that is the dentist office. As someone whose gums are on permanent sabbatical, I know the dental terror all too well. Ase.

You won’t be lmao

I’m sorry, did you just admit to eating vanilla caramels?????? The brown ones with the white in the middle? The official candy of old lady bingo players and people born without taste buds?

I hate black gums. I hate the back of Whoopi Goldberg’s neck. I hate my elbows. And I hate black jellybeans! LMAO

You just hate black jelly beans because you’re a racist.

...look, I don’t have a real defense of them, but you attacked something I love and I wanted to hurt you back. There. I said it.

But you know what’s quite tasty though? Make some Cream of Wheat and add ACTUAL brown sugar to it. #ijs

Ma - your first mistake was owning up to your love of Candy Corn from jump. I immediately had to add a 20% discount to the rest of your otherwise stellar list due to your serious lack of judgment!

Damn! This article needs a trigger warning. It’s activating my latch-key kid PTSD. Now all I can smell is that gross brown sugar aroma as the memories of watching Scooby-Doo on a black & white TV while not doing my homework come flooding to the front of my mind. That flavor had me convinced I hated brown sugar until I…

Don’t beat yourself up. you were probably still under the influence of drugs. If you are like me, you grew up eating Cream of Wheat. The reason you don’t remember ever buying Cream of Wheat is because your mom or great mom bought it. And your older female first cousin cooked it. And if you were lucky, you had a cousin…

Dhiraj you made me laugh out loud in the Dr’s office! Seriously, this was some funny shit. YOU have a way with a phrase girl.

.If lovin’ licorice is wrong,

Hot water if possible. I make sure to measure out 1 cup of sugar perfectly and make sure I do 100 stirs. I might add a dash of lemon juice depending on the color (flavor). I hate when people make Kool-aid and have a ton of sugar on the bottom.

I rock cold cereal on my days off, but for a work day, I gotta have the good stuff, warm but not ‘burn the shit out of your tongue, curse it for a week’ hot. Peddling a bike 25-35 mins is damned hard work if you aren’t properly full, but not ‘fuck work, i’m going back to bed’ full.

You should have been put off buying an instant hot cereal, cuz eww and there is no such thing as Maple Brown Sugar. Maple and Brown Sugar sure, whatever unholiness is in that packet is not of God.

Shoulda bought Grits.

Sooo, basically you ate the vomit your cat leaves behind the couch during their night patrols and that you don’t find until 4 days later. Cream of Wheat is Cat puke, heed my warning!