do they... not have those on TV everywhere all the time? it happens where I live like, at least once a month a loud fucking long BEEEP noise on the TV except the messaging says it a test

dude. we have assigned it a meaning. a very, very shitty meaning steeped in a long and well documented history

look, if my own husband SUMMONED me to come and have sex with him, he would get a swift kick in the nuts. this guy has ALWAYS oozed smugness. I have watched Today in spite of him being on it. I feel like the people at ABC and GMA must be twiddling their fingers Mr Burns style... until one of their own is called out

Yes this I moved to Florida to get away from the snow mostly and desparetely miss it at Christmas. I’m going to so far as to plan an expensive trip back home to Canada just on the off chance there is snow at Christmas. My luck it will probably rain

Yeah I watched the Today show this morning. I turned around when I heard them saying “it’s a sad day” thinking ‘on shit who died?’ but it was this. They literally spent like, 1 minute 30 seconds on it and then we’re like.. and in other news. I didn’t feel like it was anything other than them paying lip service.…

starring as the forever short sidekick friend to more popular tall friends 

Yeah. I started listening to NPR about a year ago and I’ve noticed they, for whatever reason, have had numerous profiles on these racist pieces of shit. One of the excuses was that ‘they arent going away anytime soon.’ Right. Because they keep getting featured in the news which fuels their ego. They also ran a profile…

Ok my tired brain thought you were referring to the brothel part of my comment lol whoops I was like eh, more power to her

VOMIT I cant believe I ever went there! it was only one time but wow. and they have this scam program they try to make you sign up for like, monthly massages at a set rate on autopay. no, thanks.

the US has consecutive sentences. So, for example I’m from Canada so in Canada you might be sentenced to 1 year per charge and have 5 charges = 5 years. But in Canada you serve those sentences concurrently. So in reality, it would be 1 year. In US, they don’t do that. You serve your time for each crime in succession -…

It took me a solid 3 minutes to figure out you weren’t referring to Spencer Pratt

I agree with everyone who had said not to have her arrested. Best case she gets a slap on the wrist and does some kind of diversion program which you will have to pay for possibly or at least transport her, or she will be fail the program, worst case she gets sent to a detention program which, trust me, are…

I’m sorry. I don’t have any advice but it sounds like you’re handling better than most would. I haven’t had much experience dealing with close loved ones who have mental health issues until later in life and it’s really difficult to see behavior that is ultimately self destructive and feeling helpless, but also not…

That looks awesome. What recipe or type of frosting did you use to do the stars? Might always turn out too funny or too thick

All the stars for that very accurate anatomy and physiology I reference

I’m just going to keep smashing the mouse button down because this cannot be starred enough times

I’m actually really into this, and have been paranoid about my own air quality in my house since everyone seems to always be congested. now if only I could keep any type of plant alive :(

“You can watch a plea deal from 1996 and be like dude that guy is free today.”

Yes this. What else do you do with your small decorative Halloween pumpkins

I just find celebrity Instagram shots so funny most of the time. I assume they have a personal assistant following them around all the time, taking their pictures. was she like, ‘here quick take a pic of me ‘reeling’’ as a regular person I feel awkward even asking a friend to take a pic of me solo