I think we ended up going on all of one date, but I appreciate the sentiment. ;)

I've decided this means cheap Chinese food is good for me. Because SCIENCE.

During pregnancy your body is basically a raging storm of hormones. Many of those hormones also help regulate your sex drive.

I've used the craigslist personals a number of times, and it's not about desperation. It's about using the tools at hand to meet people. I've also used OkCupid, met people at events, and through friends.

People like what? Murder victims? People that are interested in threesomes? People who use the internet for hook-ups?

The dick pic reminds me of something I read here on Jez. Another commenter paraphrased that men came up with the concept of virginity because they're certain their dicks are so special that it changes a woman. I get the feeling dick pics are in the same boat. They think we'll take one look at their dong and swoon. …

i've done improv before, and would actually love to get back to it, but it's like...people don't want you there. and that's the same in relationships.

One time I was talking with a girl on OKC and we were hitting it off - she had mentioned off handly that it was refreshing that someone had not sent her a 'Dick Pic' right away. When she gave me her cell number the first time I immediately sent this photo:

What was it singing? I'm trying to think of an appropriately amusing song but coming up blank.

If these sorts of HEYPEEEEENUSS shenanigans ever happened to me, I would just coolly reply with a pic of a nicer penis. Maybe even one with some dignity.

I can count on one hand the times when I want to see a picture of a penis.

I follow straightwhiteboystexting.tumblr.com/ and the submissions are horrifying. The disgusting pattern I've started noticing on the time-stamped texts is that a lot of the shitty fucking comments are texted before 9AM. Nine fucking AM. The only thing I want inside of me before noon is a cup of coffee. No one cares…

don't answer. you don't have to respond to anyone you aren't interested in.

evening out the face tone. the blush. lipgloss or even chapstick makes a difference. the light, think eyeliner. the taupe colors to deepen the eyes. the waxing and filling in of the brows. a good makeup artist can contour so well no one would be able to see it without really looking. the slightly wavy blowout. don't…

Sometimes I wonder if straight men are just kind of taking their relationship advice from the concept of sperm (keep throwing them into the void, one might hit the mark):

Sadly... this seems to be the state of affairs in the dating world now. Almost every guy I have dated, text, online conversed with goes there... sometimes immediately. My booty calls have sent dick pics, I've already said come over - I sure as hell hope your dick will be hard, but I don't need a picture of it before…

"But baby, all that's changing now, 'cause Mama's got The Pill."

White men think about our penises more than we do. Sheesh.

Well, some guys find it enjoyable to get kicked in the balls. (Yes, seriously.)